I'm not really depressed but I guess scared about the future. I'm in my second semester of college and I'll hopefully be moving out of my house to move in with my friends into a townhouse somewhere near school. We all want to go into the film industry but I guess I'm just worried about how me or any of us will get there making videos locally, because we live in a small city in Florida where nothing ever happens. I don't have a job but I need to get one to even move out in the first place but I'm kinda skill-less and don't really know any place that would be good to work at that I wouldn't suck at.
To make matters more complicated, by would-be girlfriend's at a christian college in town so I can never really see her (I talk to her all the time though) and she says that if she does end up quitting her school she wants to move out to Atlanta for an opportunity to be an actress and just not go to college (which I think is a big mistake) but I don't really know how to tell her that in a way that doesn't make me seem overtly attached and emotional. But she really gets me and I don't want to lose her because she turned down going to my school because of her stupid religious beliefs (which I begrudgingly respect) or because she wants a career that she might not get without a degree. She's a stubborn girl and I don't know how to talk to her about these kinds of things in a way that doesn't make me seem like a needy asshole.
I guess I'm just afraid of leaving this middle class white privilege nest - and despite being fairly mature for my age, I'm still kinda just a kid who's afraid of failing and doesn't know how to succeed. I know what I want to do and I know I'm good at it and smart and talented - but I don't know how to obtain success, and I want to do it while I'm young and have time to accomplish as much as I possibly can because life's short, ya'know? I don't want to die knowing I could've done more than I did but I was just tied down by being born in a small city in the middle of nowhere with a degree from a University no one cares about but I don't want to confront the big bad world alone after getting that nowheresville degree...
Sorry for the length, or the fact that my case isn't even that big a deal. I'm just whining. :/
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