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Edited by Nova 0w0:
4/7/2015 5:08:24 AM
7
I'm not here looking for help, I'm here to share my story because I have nowhere and nobody to share it with because when I do, everyone tells me to shut up because they think I'm just rambling. I have been critically depressed for over 7 months due to being bullied at school for not being one of those dumbass rich white kids who thinks their gangsters and thinks our school and where we live is the ghetto and those kids don't respect anyone in those poverty ridden places what so ever, except me, I am very smart and respect those people unlike the students I'm bullied by because I'm different then they are because I'm shorter, I'm an artist with a vast imagination, and I don't get out much because I have no friends at all because nobody likes me or even acknowledges my existence and the times I am acknowledged I get made fun of. The depression is so crippling I rarely smile, I have no energy to do anything, I have no self esteem in myself, and the only thing that makes me happy is drawing and making art. Sadly, my schools teachers have banned me from drawing in all classes and I can't even draw anymore, the depression and stress from school made me lose all of my creative ideas and I have no time at home to draw because all day after school I work on homework until 10 or 11 pm and fight with my parents because there's to much homework to do and I get stressed and since I have no where to turn to I yell at my parents and I can't control it because I don't have time to learn how to and all I do is work and get bullied in an endless cycle of hellish madness. And to be honest I don't know how much longer I can hold on to the last bit of sanity I have left in me anymore. I just...can't do this anymore... Why? Why can't I just be happy? I know there are people that are suffering worse then me but why? Why do we have to suffer? Just why?....
English
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Bud, the feels. Here's how it goes *puts on stethoscope and glasses* I prescribe 100 play throughs of Happy by Pharrell, and 10 funny YouTube videos, daily. *sticks note to your head* Have a nice day! [spoiler]Hopefully you smiled, that would be awesome. But hey man, we need to start changing slowly. You know stuff doesn't happen right away, so you gotta give stuff time to take effect. I say first off, don't really yell at your parents. Get them to be with you, allies, not enemies. Then, you need to draw. Just do it *insert Nike Swoosh here*. You may not have time, but then again, there's always time. It's just your motivation, step 3. Motivation is the biggest thing, and it's just something you're working towards, whether it be a lifetime goal, or just to get past the day. Whatever it is, make sure it motivates you well. I had 1 friend in Gr.4, just one, and when he left I became an outcast. Bullied and stuff, but you don't need to hear my problems. Stand up for what you think is right. Spread the word, start with a grass, end up with a forest fire. If you can't get them to believe, make them believe in your ideals. I went through this process. Do what you want, no matter the criticism. I do the same, it's unbearable at first, but afterwards it gets better, and sooner than later, you don't care what others think as much anymore. You just need one thing, that makes all this happen: Motivation. Let anything motivate you, don't limit it to a reason, expand to let an item of significance motivate you, something that doesn't go away. But anyways, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, I'm so -blam!-en tired, but I think you got it. Goodnight...[/spoiler]
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This honestly made me cry. I feel like it's exactly how i would have written my story when i was in school. We have so many similarities. I feel for you buddy. I know it's tough. I didn't even have a way to relieve my stress though. I'm happy you know you're an intelligent kid. I was pretty stupid in school and wasn't accepted into any colleges i applied for, so don't lose touch of those smarts. And as for your imagination. It hasn't gone anywhere. You know you're creative. Just because some people don't let you express it doesn't mean it isn't there. I know drawing is a way for you to vent but just try to find another way now. You've got me, or i'm sure you have a game console. Try to find some time to complete that homework in school so you can have more time to play videogames or even draw :) sorry if this doesn't seem very well said, it's late here and i need sleep. I hope i helped!
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Thanks man, if only you could truly understand how deep this wound is, I can't finish all my homework due to the unrealistic standards they give me. You think it's easy to learn 3 major tests about 3 major subjects in a mere 6 hours combined with the worksheets i have? I get sent to this school as if it was rigged for me to fail. Of course I don't except you to truly understand because your not me and I would feel horrible if you had to live even a day in my perspective. But thanks man it's good that I found someone to talk to about this since everyone thinks I'm just rambling.
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It sounds pretty damn tough. Just keep your head up and give it your very best! And you're welcome friend
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I suggest switching schools, maybe one that accepts creativity and expression rather than how much cash you have or how "ghetto" you are
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Edited by Nova 0w0: 4/7/2015 5:16:04 AMExactly my point I have enrolled in a private high school exactly like what your talking about but I have to wait to see if I get in. If not, I have to go to that public high school which is just a bigger version of the hellhole I'm in now.
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Best luck to you!
