Why don't I feel the urge to get up In the morning anymore?
In the past two days I missed school , I didn't mean to , I did wake up early enough woke up at 8:00 class starts at 9.... First thought that comes to my head every morning is
"oh fuk..." Then I think of the essay that i still have to do some tests I haven't prepared for then I'll ask myself "can I just skip today?" Then "no I can't if I do it'll be harder for me next week" then I close my eyes for a bit wake up sooner or later it's already noon "fuk"
Then at night I wouldn't be able to sleep even though I'm thinking I gotta wake up early tomorrow Cuz I gotta do this and that.
Maybe I'm just whining about life , then I'd realize it gets harder after that. If everyone says "stop bitching you're just a kid it gets harder" it doesn't really help since it makes me think, if this is just easy mode for everybody how do Yall expect me to keep up in hard mode?
Now it's 5 am I thought that maybe if I just stay up for the whole night no way in hell Id be late for school but once I get there Id be tired as hell.
I haven't responded to my friends or my girlfriends messages and calls since I don't really feel like it .... It doesn't really make a difference they'd just ask "where are you?!" I'll reply with "I'm at home, sick " , "ok cool" they'd say.
I'm not suicidal or anything , I'm just ... Not as excited as normal people. Idk TBH
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