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originally posted in:The Friends List
6/1/2015 2:31:25 PM
63
I have a friend that may die because of me.
I live out in the country. Due to classes ending late this year, my friends and I decided to celebrate Memorial Day this weekend instead of last weekend. We had the standard celebration; we fired up the grill, had a couple beers, and shot off some fireworks. The fireworks are where the trouble started.
I like to impress people. I have a buddy that runs a fireworks store, so I got him to hook me up with some professional-grade goods so I could put on a real show. It cost me quite a bit, but I was sure it'd be worth it.
I set the fireworks up in my field, but I propped up the morter on an old pallet so I wouldn't accidentally ignite the foliage. We've had a drought here for a while now, so fires were a real concern. I had a few buckets of water ready just in case.
Fast-forward back to the party. There were 7 of us there. Myself, my girlfriend, and 5 of my friends. For the sake of anonymity (since this story was on the news), let's call them John, Sam, Chris, Bob, and Dan. We'd all been drinking our fair share, and it was getting dark, so I decided to get this show on the road.
The morter came in a brick-shaped 36-pod cannister. Upon lighting the fuse, I heard a creak, but I wasn't too worried due to my buzz. The first shot went off and immulinated the sky. My money was well spent. Everything was great. Life was good.
Then the second shot went off, and the pallet snapped from the force. The morter turned sideways, and still had 34 shots left. I grabbed a bucket and ran for the morter, and the third shot went off. Immediately, everyone ran. I dumped the bucket on the morter, heard it fizzle and die, then turned around.
Everyone was staring at John and screaming. The third shot had hit him square in the chest. He was unconscious, but breathing. Bob and I grabbed Bob's Chevy Tahoe, and Dan, Sam, and Chris loaded him up. We knew that if we called an ambulance, we wouldn't get to the hospital in time. Dan kept applying pressure to the wound while I drove and Bob gave me directions.
After about 10 minutes, I asked Bob how much further we had to go. He looked at Dan, then John, then me, and said "Woah, we're half-way there." Dan, panicked, then said "Woah, he's living on a prayer."
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1 ReplyWas expecting Burninator troll thread, was not disappoint.
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1 ReplyGr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.
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1 ReplyThumbs up for your firework safety skills.
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Gr8 b8 m8 wud r8 8/8 in a ratio of 8:8 no h8
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2 RepliesDamn. That sucks. I hope your friend makes it.
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1 ReplyGood thing I always skip to the end first.
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1 ReplyGodamnit
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I knew the Hound liked fire works…
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Oh you piece of shit haha [i]got em[/i]
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1 Reply
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1 Reply[b][u]100TH POST[/u][/b]
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1 ReplyToo bad he isn't dead yet.
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1 ReplyExpected dinosaur ending.......
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(Firework by Katy Perry parody) John got hit by a firework, You totally got your moneys worth, All your friends are like "Oh God No", But you just put on an awesome show.
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Smoooootttthhh....
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Did he come back as a skeleton warrior and destroy and nearby town?
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1 ReplyDid you take his hand, and say, "We'll make it, I swear."
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3 RepliesSo how is he doing???
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1 ReplyWho played the guitar solo?
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1 ReplyGg u played me good... ._. [spoiler]praise the sun[/spoiler]
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2 Replies>was expecting Fresh Prince >did not leave disappointed
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5 RepliesEdited by Agent Space Wolf: 6/1/2015 10:25:22 PMJohn's shot through the heart, And burn's to blame Baby burn gives love A bad name *guitar riff*
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3 Replies>mfw reading >mfw Shot through the heart >mfw he's livin' on a prayer >mfw
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1 ReplyAnd then you went to live with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air?
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this post is all I've ever wanted: WAAAAANTEEEED DEAD OR ALIIIIVE!!
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1 Reply*scanned the end* Oh well doesn't look like some bel air bait. *reads* Wow this is quite serious ! :0 *reads the ending properly* *facepalm*
