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originally posted in:Officer Nastys Deputies
5/25/2014 11:08:19 PM
80
Ways that you DON'T want to die
I've seen a few threads here discussing how you would want to die. This time we're doing the opposite. What are some ways that you don't want to die?
I definitely do not want to die while fapping. Can you imagine how awkward that would be for the person that finds you? Plus, you'd be a mockery to the entire country as "the guy who died while fapping."
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2 RepliesBy a black man's penis. I'm talkin African Penalizer 500 type penis, one so big it would kill you by it's shear gravitational force.
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Drowning Any horror movie killing Getting crushed Falling off a cliff
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[i] [/i]
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2 RepliesGetting fisted with brass knuckles wouldn't be fun..
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Anyway that ends in me saying "woops"
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Old age. I don't want to die of old age.
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1 ReplyI dont want to die fast. Id rather go slowly rven if its excrutiating so that i have enuf time to come to terms with it and i have time to reflect.
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2 RepliesI don't want to die taking a shit. That would be awkward. Guy 1: "I can't tell which smells worse, the shit or the body!" Guy 2: "Probably the shit, he took one helluva dump!"
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Eaten, burned, and drowning. Falling from really high up would suck too. Think parachute malfunction. Enough time after panic to know you're screwed no matter what. Time to reflect and such makes that horrible. And seeing clouds, fields, roads etc as a zoom in on impact. There's clips of cameras falling and surviving impact to see the recordings.
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3 RepliesTomahawk across the map.
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Alone. I don't want to die alone,
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Edited by Ashed-up: 5/27/2014 1:04:21 AMDying in the cold would be my number one. That feeling that you are slowing being taken away is horrible. Second is getting killed by some dumb asshole. Getting some dipshit who can barely finish a sentence without saying the word [b]like[/b]. Lastly would be getting ran over by a car which sadly might have number 2 behind the wheel. Edit: oh yeah drowning refer to number 1.
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3 RepliesAutoerotic asphyxiation accident.
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Dying a slow, painful death would be horrible
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Being an Imperial Guardsman.
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Anyway that I'm the only one who dies. I haz a plan.
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Edited by Turké Timer: 5/27/2014 3:42:25 AMBarely able to move or function independently.
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1 ReplyRunning away from a crazy hillbilly naked.
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Slowly I suppose, and not really in the common sense of the term. Burning or drowning would be unfortunate, but I'd much rather not slowly become useless until finally I have to rely on strangers to care for my every need.
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Any way that is mentioned in this thread.
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Burned Skinned Crucified Torn apart Scalped Pretty much any way that doesn't happen quickly
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Drowning Burning Eviscerated Suffocation Being shot anywhere other than my spinal cord, head, or heart.
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2 RepliesCan't believe nobody mentioned torture. Worst case torture, watch Law Abiding Citizen.
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Pretty much anything apart from dying in your sleep, and dying during sexual intercourse.
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Edited by TechnoKat: 5/26/2014 8:53:46 PMMost of the ways shown on [i]1000 ways to die.[/i]
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Cheese grater.
