The one about Drama Llama's & raid teams

Heard a lot of this through the grapevine recently. Been there a few times myself over the years....thought I would weigh in on the issue of quitters, drama llama's, and other things that can come up when it's time for a change. Raid teams fall apart sometimes....it just happens. Here's my 2¢ worth, feel free to comment. A poorly executed clan/raid team quit is the kind of toxic drama bomb that can poison your online game experience forever. Even if you're fleeing drama, guild chaos, or interpersonal strife, wrecking shop on the way out the door does more harm than good. You may never want to play with or hear from those people again -- but chances are, you'll cross paths at some point in a group, another guild, a chat channel, or a forum. Is moving on the right thing to do? Every situation is different, but if you find yourself even considering whether or not the grass might be greener in another pasture, it's time to take a good, hard look at what you want from your group versus what you're actually getting. "This is your leisure time.If your stress-relieving activity is doing the opposite, you need to make a change." And if you're sticking around based on trying to change someone else's behavior or hoping it changes on its own, she notes, you're wasting your own time. The only person you can control is yourself. You're doing it to teach someone a lesson or to make things difficult for someone in the guild. Smarter solution: Realize that you're not the arbiter of other people's behavior, and move on. You're doing it to direct attention to yourself or your views. Smarter solution: Get involved in guild life and business through normal channels. Leaving is the wrong situation if: You're doing it to teach someone a lesson or to make things difficult for someone in the guild. Smarter solution: Realize that you're not the arbiter of other people's behavior, and move on. You're doing it to direct attention to yourself or your views. Smarter solution: Get involved in guild life and business through normal channels. You don't actually want to leave. Don't be one of those drama llamas who /guild quit at every perceived slight and then expect to be welcomed back to the fold with warmth and open arms. Don't leave a guild if what you're really hoping is to elicit someone to beg you to come back. Leaving a guild is about moving on to something new. If you need to move on, move on. Smarter solution: Resolve your personal or guild issues through normal channels. Leaving your group should be as neat and clean as a surgical procedure, despite all those slimy emotions you might feel crawling all over you. Know what you're going to do, get everything lined up beforehand, then handle your departure in a calmly, in a well mannered respectful way. If you decide you need to leave your team, keep these guiding principles in mind. Don't destroy what remains or make things more difficult for those left behind. Preserve your reputation by handling things with respect. Social fallout can and will follow you across characters, clans, and realms. Above all else, remember that you'll never go wrong taking the high road. The basic drama free way to leave a raid team with class and respect: Don't fuel the rumor mill. There's no breaking this news gently, and there's no talking it over to get a feel for things if you're still merely considering a move. Do not open the "I've been thinking ..." door. This is not a public debate. You'll open up a rat's nest of gossip, political maneuvering, and guilt-inducing begging for you to stay. Leaving a guild is your decision; make it on your own, and go public only when you're ready to make it happen. Use official channels. Once you've decided a move is the right thing to do, go straight to your GM (guild master or guild leader) or a guild officer. Be brief but honest. Example: "I've decided to move to another guild, where I'll be playing with a good friend. I've really enjoyed my time here and appreciate all the help and guidance you've given me along the way. Thanks for having me!" If the officer asks for more detail, offer whatever honest feedback you feel comfortable giving, but don't open up a can of drama. If hard feelings erupt, don't burn bridges. "I have such limited time to play that I think I'd be a better fit with a guild on a more active raiding schedule" is better than "You lied to me about wanting to raid, your members suck eggs and I can't wait to be outta here." Fall back on a letter. If you're simply too uncomfortable to speak with your team leader in person, send an in-game note or private message on the guild forums. Be discreet. Timing your /quit for a time of day when fewer members will be online to take notice helps minimize awkwardness. No matter what, make contact somewhere cuz nobody likes a cold shoulder. Don't quit in the middle of a raid. It's the worst possible time. No matter how angry you are, you owe it to the other people in the raid who aren't jerks to quit later when it won't be a huge distraction for the run. Leave the raid and log off if you have to, but don't banhammer someone for a real life went that comes up in raid.This is just childish and spiteful. Don't hold a debate the forum about whether you should quit, weighing the pros and cons for everyone to hear. If you are starved for attention and feed on drama like a vampire, this is the style for you. Don't post a huge rant on your guild's web site, complete with ASCII drawings of obscene gestures. You might feel better in the short run, but you'll probably regret at least some of what you said later on after you've had a chance to cool down. Don't encourage others to quit also. If you really want some of your former guildmates to follow you, contact them privately -- don't set off a powder keg by posting recruiting notices for your new guild on your old guild's site. Don't transfer off the server and never contact anyone in the guild again. You'll be saving yourself some drama, but the unanswered questions will haunt your former guildmates for weeks. Consider posting a farewell on your guild's site. When someone leaves a guild, it can be like losing a friend. Be sensitive to that, and give everyone a chance to say goodbye. Your public reasons may differ from your private reasons, but if you don't post some reason, you're going to get a hail of whispers and private messages asking you why you left. Keep in touch, at least for a little while. Stop by your old guild's forums and say hi, run a heroic with the old crew, or invite them to your premade. Nothing says "no hard feelings" better than going out of your way to let them know you miss them. If you are a guild officer This makes leaving a bit tougher, because you theoretically have some say in the direction and guidance of your guild. The solution is simple, however. Make sure you have someone to recommend as a replacement. In fact, it is almost always a good idea, in work or in play, to groom a replacement so that you can be promoted or move on when the opportunity arises. If you are the guild leader Do not transfer leadership to your alt or to anyone else who is not active in your old guild. Your old guild needs a resident leader to thrive. Pick an active and capable successor, transfer leadership and move on with your fun. If you are in a leveling guild The guild that never quite makes it to being an endgame guild is a story that is so common, it is more of the rule than the exception. Every day in a LFG chat you hear guilds recruiting with almost the same sales pitch: "[Insert Guildname Here] looking for all levels. We are a helpful, level X guild. We will raid once we get enough people to max level. PST!" And every day, people level up, get some 5-mans in and move on to an endgame guild. These friendly leveling guilds rarely get enough people together who want to raid in the time frame they originally hoped for. Leave an alt or two in this guild and help them out when you have time, but don't give up raiding for them. If you are leaving behind good friends You aren't leaving anyone, actually. If you know them in the physical world or otherwise trust them with your most personal of information, you can keep in touch via Real ID. If you remain on the same server, you can keep them on your friends list. And, of course, there's always email, messaging and social networks. Just make sure to privately explain to them your reasons before you leave. If they don't understand, then they aren't really your good friends anyway. The bottom line: If you're not having fun where you are, you deserve a shot at trying out something you imagine you'd enjoy more. But if there's something you don't like about your current guild, make a private attempt to rectify the situation. This isn't the time to post on the forums or open up a can of worms in guild chat; take your concerns to an admin. If that works, stay. If it doesn't, use our advice to make a classy, respectful, drama-free departure. *copied from an article by Lisa Poisso while researching this subject and revised as needed to apply outside of WoW to be more relevant to Destiny & our little corner of the DoD universe.