Several months ago, I had the good fortune to patronize the revelatory tower merchant: Xûr, Agent of the Nine. The sheer audacity if this fresh, brave resource of the Tower reminded me why I enjoy the artistic creativity behind the design of a virtual world. It is nearly impossible to separate my glowing regard for Xûr, and how much it help me and several teammates re-strategize our gameplay through new equipment. My expectations always rise when I turn that corner on Friday morning to find Xûr hunched in one of his favorite spots. Oh, how times have changed. Over the last few months Xûr has somehow managed to transform itself from the edgiest arms dealer in the Tower into the needy aunt that gives you $5 every time you see her in the hopes that you will like her. Instead, this causes you to shrink from her cloying embrace as it threatens to smother you in saggy, moist cleavage. The signature gauntlet expected to please the RPG & Dark Souls crowd, Sunbreakers, is sold in hopes that warlocks will spend hours grinding for coins, xp, and building materials in order to have a few more seconds on a grenade that enemies evade better than a charging fusion rifle. This minor effect is an excuse to overcharge you for the designer's insecurity and lack of imagination. Xûr can be summed up by his needy yet irrelevant weapon telemetry. Xûr does not even have the courage to explain that the time saved in speeding up a weapon xp gain is effectively lost by grinding time for strange coins. Xûr curiously lacked his signature heavy ammo synth. Perhaps, this is due to selling Icebreaker, which regenerates ammo and deals more damage per second than nearly any heavy weapon. This sad inventory is emblematic of Xûr's new chapter. I still encourage everyone to spend your coins on Xûr. How else is he going to pay for the bus fare back to the homeless shelter?