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Edited by PureBeast72:
9/14/2017 10:39:17 AM
840
Chuck Norris Jokes - Destiny 2 Version
I'll start, and you tell me your Chuck Norris jokes
Chuck Norris bought Thorn from the Gunsmith
Chuck Norris gave Gjallarhorn to Xûr
Chuck Norris found the 10th VoG chest on the release date
Chuck Norris didn't jump out of the bubble in time, Time's Vengeance was extended
Your turn
How about this one?
[spoiler]Why don't people mention Bruce Lee like they mention Chuck Norris?[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Because Bruce Lee ain't a f*cking joke![/spoiler]
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The Cabal have no words for retreat because they know there is no running from Chuck Norris
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13 RepliesEdited by valdezian: 6/18/2015 4:23:46 AMChuck Norris has the ability to equip as many exotics as he wants, but chooses not to. Chuck Norris revives his ghost when it dies, and opens doors for it before any enemies arrive. Chuck Norris cannot farm "The Dark Beyond". When the door opens there are no hive to be found. The Fallen do not mind when Chuck Norris borrows their pikes. When asked if he thinks that he can kill a god, Chuck Norris just looks at his ghost and it explodes. The cryptarch always gives Chuck Norris an exotic item from his legendary engrams, he promptly breaks all of them down because he doesn't need them. Xur shows up two days a week to give Chuck Norris all his strange coins. Thorn is currently creating a forum petition about Chuck Norris, because he is too OP. Chuck Norris once beat Crota to death with a green engram. The "Boomers" never come out when Chuck Norris does Crota's End. Thralls try to jump back into the pits during the lamp maze while Chuck Norris is there, but cannot due to the weight of Chuck Norris. I once asked Chuck Norris if he needed the chalice, he roundhoused my titan so hard that I had to create a new one. Chuck Norris once one-shotted me with Necrochasm. Chuck Norris solo's all the nightfalls with only the husk of the pit. When Chuck Norris does the Vault of Glass, he gives Atheon chatterwhite. When Chuck Norris plays PVP, the K/D column is replaced with a special column labeled K. edit: The Prison of Elders was completely obliterated this week when Chuck Norris reached Skolas with the Brawler modifier active.
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24 RepliesChuck Norris deleted the default shader.
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Chuck Norris visits the forums to collect the salty tears of whiners, dries them out and uses them for seasoning on his fries. [spoiler]unfortunately Chuck showed up the week of the weapon tuning 2.0 and now has extremely high blood pressure[/spoiler]
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The Exo Stranger made time to explain to Chuck Norris (even though he already knew). The Nine aren't powerful, mysterious beings. They're actually Chuck Norris's testicles. Don't ask what Xur really is. Light levels changes were implemented in TTK after Chuck Norris's beard registered as +42^900000 light. This broke the test servers and pushed TTK back six months. The name of Chuck Norris's drop ship? Hanes. He flies in space in his underwear. Chuck Norris had a date with Tess the night before she disappeared.
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1 Replyhttps://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/164933755/0/0/1
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When a guardian activates their super, they run from Chuck Norris.
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Edited by QueCyraCyra: 11/2/2015 2:37:55 AMSo a bit of backstory first - this was before oryx finally had figured out he'd be happier as a bloke... So the great and glorious chuck Norris was taking his morning stroll through space when he suddenly found the urge into create some offspring so he literally could be everywhere at once at the same time (this was before he developed that power btw so a few millennia ago) and he came across the newly developed late-teen who would become our little oryx... Needless to say what happened next (of course pre-oryx gave consent) but it turned out that instead of being impregnated, chuck's "man juice" was so overpoweringly manly that a mutation began to occur and henceforth oryx was born! Alongside a few other mini oryx's as well of course... Then repulsed by the creation that stood in front of him(pre-oryx was actually pretty cute), chuck then roundhouse kicked oryx and co to the other side of the Galaxy. And that is the real reason why oryx came here, not cuz we killed his son but because he heard chuck was hanging around this area and he wanted revenge! And answers... But mostly revenge! [spoiler]more of a little story than a chuck fact (not joke, none of them are jokes he really can swim through land) but oh well[/spoiler]
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WITH THY UNHOLY NECROMANTIC POWERS I REVIVE THIS DEAD POST
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Chuck Norris beat a gorgon in a staring contest. Chuck Norris beat the fist of crota in an arm wrestling contest. Chuck Norris was top of his team with his first character. In iron banner.
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1 ReplyChuck Norris can no longer plays destiny because all the enemies are permanently dead Chuck Norris punched Xur, now he hides his face behind black smoke Chuck Norris Fist of Havoced the vex so hard their critical spot moved from their head to their abdomen Chuck Norris went 56-0 in Clash. Then he spawned in Chuck Norris has never used radiance because he's never died The archon preist won't come out of his cell if Chuck Norris is playing
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He has a gate lord...... For his herb garden
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1 ReplyChuck Norris sucked up kaliks to regenerate his own health
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3 RepliesFelwinter's Truth once said it could beat Chuck Norris
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Edited by Airturtle86: 7/27/2015 7:44:27 AMChuck Norris threw a Fist of Nova Bomb and killed all 11 other people in the control match. Then it exploded and auto capped all control points, and killed all 11 of the ghosts.
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60 RepliesThe Fallen were called The Standing until they met Chuck Norris.
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When gjallarhorn uses lfg, it requires chuck norris.
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Chuck Norris never had to go flawless to travel to Mercury. Mercury has to go flawless to travel to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris needs no black spindle. Black spindle needs Chuck Norris.
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The thralls at the beginning of the Crota's End raid aren't running towards you they are running from Chuck Norris
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a ghost did not search for chuck norris, chuck norris searched for ghosts to get higher grimore
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Chuck Norris can solo the Kingsfall raid.
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chuck norris threw a grenade, killed 20 people in the crucible, then the grenade exploded.
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Chuck Norris finished the 2.0 install before it was released
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Chuck Norris' Gjallarhorn won't get nerfed. Also necro-bump
