Post any relevant comments below.
EDIT: This is meant to be a funny post, not me bitching about Xur.
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[quote]Post any relevant comments below. EDIT: This is meant to be a funny post, not me bitching about Xur.[/quote] Electric chair
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Every guardian hits him with a super !
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Other: by the weapon he's denied us the most.
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These were all good XD
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Insert him into my gjallahorn and Fire him into phogarths shít stained ass
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He'll die from over-vibration once he sells gjallarhorn.
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We hang him by eris's ship
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Edited by Shane: 2/6/2015 8:47:23 PMEngraming to death should be reserved for the cryptarch
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We "dismantle" him
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With a flashlight in his face
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He should be tied to a rock, shot in the legs and arms with no land beyonds, and then thrown into the Hellmouth.
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It was a very late Thursday evening. In the tower I sat, cold, alone. To my left was the sweeping bot, each sway of his broom mocking my desperation. My husband? I left him. I HAD to leave him. Abused me, that he did. Constantly belittling me, always reminding me how bad off I'd be without him and his little shop to be my crutch. I'd fight back, sure, but he was always stronger, always one step ahead. I can't even go to that side of the tower anymore, and watch him steal out of other guardians postmaster packages. His presence fills me with disdain. But then, something happened. The clock struck 3 am, and a strange man appeared. His face was concealed in darkness, but I could sense a special warmth coming from him. He beckoned me to come closer. My greaves were practically dripping. He asked if I had any coins. What a strange question, I thought. I did have one, rather strange in fact. It's purpose was unknown to me, however. He opened his cloak to show me his wares, they were rare items from all over the solar system. He wanted 17 coins for what I needed, having only one; I had to compensate. He took me to the back room behind the docks, Rahool hissed as we walked by. He knew. The rich red light augmented this dark creatures now naked.body, he was like a flaming God, casting shadows on the wall seducing even themselves. With his Hood removed I could see strange tentacles surrounding his head, but I knew these would only further my pleasure from him. PRAISE BE THE NINE, I'd never felt so...full. Not just of Xur, but also of love. After my debt was paid, he mysteriously disappeared into the grey. I could barely stand. Legs trembling, I walked back to my lonely corner, grinning at Rahool in my wake, eyed my beautiful new No Land Beyond, and cried myself to sleep.
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Everyone should throw Strange Coins at him
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Edited by skeem101: 2/6/2015 8:06:53 PM-blam!- him to death Edit: why can I not say -blam!- on here? Lol rhymes with grape
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Put him on trial
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Maybe use all the ghallarhorns he's hording
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A Red Carpet, with fireworks then when he gets in his spot a big LED sing saying "Open 24/7, No Gajalahorn"
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Sepiks prime feeds off his soul. Ghorn to sepiks. First i gotta farm exclusion zone for heavy ammo!
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NO ONE deserves to be shoulder charged by Mk 44 stand aside assholes.
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Use a throwing knife to cut his dick off on fire
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Lllllll
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Throwing knife firing squad maybe?
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I think he should take whatever weapon he sells, point it up high shoot it and wait till it comes back and kills him.
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Edited by x SyCoHiTmAn x: 2/6/2015 5:38:41 PMGangbanged by the broom bots
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Edited by cleverlyinsane2: 2/6/2015 2:42:06 PMI think we should get him addicted to meth. That way bungie can add meth as another currency and Xur will give us everything he has to score his next hit. As time goes on Xur will stop taking care of himself, his teeth will rot out, those snake things will die, and Xur will die from cardiac arrest. It's a slow painful death that will allow us to watch his meteoric descent from grace.
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The engrammed to death(stoning) made me laugh with insane glee. Make sure they change into ascendant shards after. Or another shotgun.