I stare in wonder at the staff. I realise ultimate power is mine. All my enemies will bow down before me. For all fear the Chickenation Beam. I grasp the Wabbajack confidently. I know what I must do. The box nods sagely. "You must smite down those who oppose you in the land of Skyrim - begin with That Annoying Guy in Whiterun - The One That's a Dick About the Cloud District" I must obey the command. I ignore the fact that I am taking orders from a cardboard box. I set off to take my vengeance. After an unexpectedly short time I reach Whiterun. I venture into the centre of the town. I see my target. He says the same thing to everyone who passes. "Do you get to the Cloud District often? No, what am I thinking, of course you don't" My heart swells with rage. The DICK. I march up to him. The Wabbajack is raised. "Do you get to the Cloud-" "GET CHICKENED, BITCH" I scream. I cast some sweet voodoo magic. He does not get chickened. He is a cow. No one else reacts to this. I stare at the cow. The cow stares at me. I start to back away. It's an awfully big cow. The cow chases me around Whiterun for far too long. The cow accidentally hits a chicken and is immediately swarmed by guards. The cow drowns under cries of "I used to be an adventurer like you!" The cow is vanquished. A guard stares at me. I stare at his knee. "I took an arrow to the knee" he tells me. I didn't know this already. I hit him in the knee with the Wabbajack. He has knees of steel. I think I have broken my hand. The guard takes out his mace. I realise the error of my ways. "Aww, did someone steal your sweetcake?" He asks me? I suddenly wish someone had stolen my sweetcake. He is surprisingly good at macing people to death. I pray for the box to save me...