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Impolitely ask the box to reveal its contents.
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The box has no ears.
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Cry all over the box.
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The box is not sympathetic.
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Kicks the box.
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The box rolls and lands on its side. You here a heavy clunk inside the box.
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What sort of clunking sound? Clunk denotes metallic.
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Yes metallic.
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Sets the box on fire.