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Edited by Proto_Type17: 3/26/2015 8:18:10 PM
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Yo mama is....destiny edition!

The title says it all! Post your funniest yo mama jokes here and let the laughs begin! "yo mama so fat the Cabals mistaken her as a planet and blew her up" "Yo mama so fat she captures all 3 flags in control at once" "Yo mama so fat when she takes a consumable she eats the whole stack" Now go! Your turn! :D Edit: Just want to say thanks to everyone that has posted and that this thread has given me so many laughs! Let's keep this thread going! Edit: Thank you again everyone that has posted! Every time I need a good laugh I always go to this thread! All thanks to you guys!

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  • Yo mama's so fat Crota asked for her to sub for the Oversoul when it got sick

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  • Edited by Hobo Grunt: 10/7/2015 10:56:46 PM
    Yo mama so fat that wizard came from her!

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  • Yo mamas so far she's the kell of the house of pancakes

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  • Yo mama's such a ho, she begged to be Taken!

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    • Here's a couple :D Yo mama so fat the fallen mistaken her as a skiff Yo mama so fat she couldn't drop with the House of Wolves Yo mama so ugly not even phogoth would shackle her chains Yo mama so dumb she thought a dreg was the raid boss

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      • Edited by Ronin Tanuki: 10/7/2015 7:31:39 AM
        Yo momma is so ugly Alak-Hul slayed an army of thrall for her. Yo momma's singing is so bad Oryx sent her a job offer. Yo momma is so fat that when she came to visit you in the tower other guardians tried to capture her gaze. Yo momma is so ugly that when she went into the cellar Golgoroth said, "DAMN!" and ran away. Yo momma is so fat that when she flew into the tower Holliday detained her for brining in ten pounds of crack. Yo momma is so nasty that when she burped Rasputin thought the Darkness had returned.

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        • Yo mamma so fat bungie tried to cut parts of her and sell it as additional dlc.

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          • You momma is so fat, when she tried to cross the bridge in Crota's end, it collapsed! You momma is so ugly that when I blasted her with my Gally, the Wolfpack rounds all stoped short and scattered before they had to touch her. You momma so fat, when I summoned my ghost to get my sparrow, she ate it. You momma so ugly, that when I accidentally shot her with my VOC, I got a Grilimore card for killing a Ogre. You momma so big, mean, and ugly, that Bungie is now using her as a nightfall modifier. Your momma so nasty, when I showed Xur a picture of her, he gave me a lifetime gift certificate to burn it. Your momma so fat, Bungie made a emote of her eating a meatball hero. Your momma is so dumb, she really thought she had to throw money at the screen to buy TTK.

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            • Your mama is so fat, she eats burgers to charge her super instead of orbs of light. Your mama is so fat, when the fire team tries to return to orbit the game gives error code: overweight. Your mama is so fat, when losing in PVP the game says "her hunger is stronger than yours, fight harder guardian!". Your mama is so ugly, shes the reason there is no sniper scope on No Land Beyond.

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              • Yo Mama so fat. The selfrez animation would take an hour just to stand back up

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                • Your mother is, on the whole, a rather pleasant and intelligent lady. I do find slight fault with the shape she folds the napkins in your house, but I suppose that's personal preference.

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                  • Yo mama is this chicken

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                  • Yo mama so fat that the Cabal couldn't blow up that planet for getting in their way.

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                  • To mama, You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions primed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. I take that back; you are a festering pustule on a weasel's rump. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. You are a technicolor yawn. And did I mention that you smell? You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal bagpipe player. You were not born. You were hatched into an unwilling world that rejects the likes of you. You didn't crawl out of a normal egg, either, but rather a mutant maggot egg rejected by an evil scientist as being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it ever so much more rapidly. If cluelessness were crude oil, your scalp would be crawling with caribou. You are a thick-headed trog. I have seen skeet with more sense than you have. You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few cards short of a full deck, a few bytes short of a full core dump, and a few chromosomes short of a full human. Worse than that, you top-post. God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn't make you. You are Satan's spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered, goisher kopf, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup doesn't validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager. Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. Do you fantasize that your tantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth the $0.000000001 worth of electricity used to send them? Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T., and your future doesn't look promising either. We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your git. You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.13 world. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You believe that P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived. You prefer L. Ron Hubbard to Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test patterns all day if the other inmates would let you. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. Spammers look down on you. Phone sex operators hang up on you. Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. May you choke on your own foolish opinions. You are a Pusillanimous galactophage and you wear your sister's training bra. Don't bother opening the door when you leave - you should be able to slime your way out underneath. I hope that when you get home your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You jetere steatopygous pilgarlick hircine whigmaleerious rhadamanthine lintlicker. I refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram. You are so clueless that if you dressed in a clue skin, doused yourself in clue musk, and did the clue dance in the middle of a field of horny clues at the height of clue mating season, you still would not have a clue. If you were a movie you would be a double feature; _Battlefield_Earth_ and _Moron_Movies_II_. You would be out of focus. You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam. You won't make it. I beg for sweet death to come and remove me from a world which became unbearable when the bioterrorists designed you. It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are. Stupid as a stone that the other stones make fun of. So stupid that you have traveled far beyond stupid as we know it and into a new dimension of stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid cubed. Trans-stupid stupid. Stupid collapsed to a singularity where even the stupons have collapsed into stuponium. Stupid so dense that no intelligence can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot summer day on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one minute than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. It cannot be possible that anything in our universe can really be this stupid. This is a primordial fragment from the original big stupid bang. A pure extract of stupid with absolute stupid purity. Stupid beyond the laws of nature. I must apologize. I can't go on. This is my epiphany of stupid. After this experience, you may not hear from me for a while. I don't think that I can summon the strength left to mock your moronic opinions and malformed comments about boring trivia or your other drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well ... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things to be difficult. If I had known that this was true in your case then I would have never have exposed myself to what you wrote. It just wouldn't have been "right." Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, pinguid, and Generally Not Good.

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                    • Yo momma so fat that not even oryx could clap her to death

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                    • Edited by Lunafox: 10/7/2015 9:23:12 PM
                      Yo Momma is so dirty, I got harpies by knocking on her front door. ... Yo Momma is so big Oryx couldn't [i]take her.[/i] ... Yo Momma is so fat, she needs a new ghost every time she respawns. ... The only difference between the Queen and your Momma…is that the Queen spits. ... Your Momma is so stupid, she thought the Titans built the wall of China.

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                    • Yo mama so fat she thought cheesing the raid meant snack time !

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                    • Yo mama is yo mama.

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                    • Yo mama so fat she snatched Crota up with her butt checks until he was forever lost in the dark colon of time

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                    • Your mom is so fat, Guardians built the last safe city around her. I did Vault of Ass with your mom last night, I took control of her plates, my spire formed, and I let in my light. Your mom is like Tess Everis, She takes my Special orders for free. But now she wants silver :( Your mom is so stupid the Vex worshiped her. (Vex worship what they can't understand) Your mom is so ugly, Oryx mistook her as Crota and withdrew his fleet. Your mom is so pale that the speaker says he hasn't seen light like hers in ages.

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                      • Yo mamma so fat oryx married her

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                      • Yo momma so fat she thought the hole the dreadnaught made in Saturn's ring was for a cupholder on her belt!

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                      • Yo moma is so FAT we don't need lag switch to kill Crota because she would CRUSH HIM!!!!!

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                      • Edited by Bayleez: 10/7/2015 8:58:16 PM
                        Yo momma can only shoot purple ammo. Yo momma so ugly even Crota won't point back. Yo momma so stupid she thinks Tess will never sell anything but cosmetic items.

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                      • Yo momma so dumb she thought the dreadnaught was a hair style. That's all I got.

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