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Edited by lbox87: 2/6/2015 4:41:55 PM
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lbox87

Breaking News: Turf War Erupts as Guardians Feel the Withdrawals

Lbox87 here, reporting to you live from the Tower where rumors and allegations have spread over the last few weeks regarding the illegal trading of the narcotic substance known as Synthesis. After the recent prohibition on Synthesis had been lifted a few months ago, the Vanguard openly jumped on the opportunity to legally profit off of the controversial drug by having their gunsmith, Banshee-44, sell variations of the drug at differing qualities and potencies. One strain of synthesis, however, has left a crippling addiction throughout the Guardian community as Guardians flock to Banshee-44 to unload all the Glimmer they have to purchase this "Heavy" Synthesis, or "Purple Sky" as users often call it. Reports have been popping up all over the galaxy as Guardians are accused of many heinous acts to acquire more Glimmer to purchase Purple Sky; allegations ranging from Awoken prostitution rings to the mass genocide and looting of Cabal in the Exclusion Zone. Seeing an opportunity to capitalize, the Nine had begun sneaking one of their agents into the tower under the guise of Exotic Armament dealing. Rumors quickly spread as Guardians realized that Xûr, Agent of the Nine, was actually selling Purple Sky in bulk in exchange for mysterious Strange Coins. Purple Sky consumption sky rocketed, bringing attention to Xûr from the Vanguard. Witnesses have reported seeing Commander Zavala threatening Xûr in the lounge of the Tower several weeks ago, and since then Xûr's stock of Purple Sky have been sporadic as he attempts to continue sneaking his supply into the tower. Further reports indicate that Vanguard agents are pushing into the Nine's territory to sell their Purple Sky at the inflated Glimmer prices. An anonymous source has also tipped that to cover their trail, the Vanguard has employed Eris, the famed Hellmouth survivor, to sell Purple Sky through another form of currency, but at a seemingly unreasonable exchange rate. Supposedly this was only to throw off accusations that the Vanguard is monopolizing on Synthesis by allowing an independent vendor to sell it, only at higher prices. This is only the beginning of a massive drug turf war that is projected to get much worse. Guardians have been seen going through heavy withdrawals and crippling debt, many living homeless out of their ships or on the Tower common grounds. Kinderguardians are being removed from their mentors and placed in foster care as the addiction spreads. Armor dealers have become opportunists in the matter, creating faux Heavy Synthesis enhancing gear that can actually malfunction and destroy the product, the manufacturer then likely splitting the profit with the Vanguard in the process. President DeeJ has been questioned numerous times on the matter regarding how he plans to handle this escalating situation, but as of late the only resolution coming is to impose manufacturer regulations on the previously mentioned armor. Rumors are spreading that President DeeJ is actually in cahoots with the Vanguard and refuses to address the inherent addiction in this cycle of chaos. Indeed, these are dark days in the galaxy... Lbox87, signing off. Edit: Thank you for getting the word out Guardians, addiction is a serious problem that should not be taken lightly. New Monarchy has opened up a free detox clinic for anyone willing to seek out help. Edit 2: Everyone lately seems to be like this [url]http://imgur.com/mqmAeCx[/url] (Thanks OZ420CT!)

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  • Edited by Mousebreaker85: 1/31/2015 8:56:39 PM
    I just went thru withdrawl the stuff is no joke After soloing the nightfall Past 30 ultras and 20 stealthy vandals that can one shot you 6 ultra space wizards and a very grumpy ogre that chased me all the way to urgok with shiny red mist on his angry face I'm staring at omnigul A lone 31 guardian The sniper dry ..the badger not doing much ... I mean its a rodent what do you expect its not a unicorn ccl!! Omnigul lets out 2 screams im giving it too her the way she likes it..ROUGH!! And she wailing like a banshee So one more time with my trusty truth!! ..........UH OH!!!... OH NOES !!! No more purp!!! WTF!! Xur my usually connect had no more bundles And eris that goth dealer wanted pesos or some currency i didnt have... What to do??!? Only a little health left Radiant skin armed radiance on scorch on Throw the sticky grenade !!! Boom !!!shield down!! Time to CHUCK NORRIS MELEE HER AZZ!!! Later after being booted back in orbit i realized i am not chuck norris nor a Titan with a big fist.. Maybe i shoulda nova bombed :-( Moral of the story XUR SUCKS!!

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    • Love this.

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    • "Purple sky" I like that

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    • Hides Dire Ahmankara bone pipe and bong set....

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    • " you might not know this about me joe rogan, I smoke purple sky"

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    • Nice job with these stories dude.

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    • Lol

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    • Bump

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    • Ghorn = best bong ever

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    • Bump

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    • Bump

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    • With the new surge of Purple Sky this needs to be bumped!

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      • Who else read this in a 1960s reporters voice

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        • Unloading your weapons before a boss fight isn't normal, but on "Purple Sky", it is.... [spoiler]Purple Sky...not even once.[/spoiler]

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        • Join the SSGD (Solar System Guardian Dept.) Farm sober, or it's Game Over

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          • Thank you for the objective reporting of what's really is going on in the Tower, so many other things go unreported... Tower Mayor Bombadil Cragglethatch is currently investigating the wrong doing of pres Deej as well as some other shady characters, hopefully, this will all be exposed.

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            • Edited by Onyx076: 1/31/2015 9:15:55 PM
              [i]via Ghost satellite feed[/i]Lbox87, I'm standing here at the bridge to the entrance of the Hellmouth, watching fire team after fire team throw caution to the wind, and run in to face Crota, unprepared. Not much information is known about the strategies many team leaders are going to employ, but it definitely has many inexperienced guardians running scared. I've been here for the better part of the morning, stopping any fire team, in hopes of catching a glimpse into their "Best laid plans". "This (expletive) sucks!", said one fire team captain. "I don't even know who Crota is.", said another. As the team's assemble in a tight knit group on the pad to form the bridge, many begin to question why they are even bothering. Their helmets cover their faces, keeping their emotions of fear and uncertainty, hidden from their teammates. Like all good team captain's, they remain resilient and ready for the fight. "If you have a good team and a guy who knows how to handle 'The Sword', you should be in good shape. Sure you may wipe a few times, but they wouldn't call it a reward if it wasn't worth fighting for.", said the captain of a local faction from The Forgotten Shore. It's a fair statement to be sure, but just how much time are teams willing to spend tackling the mission, which now seems impossible? "Dude, I've got (expletive) loads of that 'Purple Sky', I don't even need it anyway, I can run this by myself. Call it an hour, tops.". Although many do not share this brave guardian's optimism, almost everyone is looking for an alternative. Panic and disorder is what's on tap for today in the Hellmouth, and it's only going to get worse, as more and more brave heroes face their doom: without their fix. A lot of buzz has been circulating around Purple Sky since this story broke, and I've had the chance to meet a very interesting guardian, who seemed to be high on his own supply. The guardian, who shall remain nameless, felt the name should be changed. "Yeah...umm..like yeah." He jibbered as he ran back and forth in front of me. "Like...bro....seriously...It should be like, called like, 'Purple Pillz', cuz like I get a massive 'ejection erection' when I explode missiles all over Crots' face with my 'pocket rocket'!". He laughed maniacally, as he raised the bridge himself, and disappeared into the abyss. The struggle is even more real than most guardians realized. Before leaving the tower this morning, I had the chance to ask The Speaker, what his thoughts are, regarding all these hopelessly addicted guardians. He merely looked at me, and with a deep sigh and a groan replied, "It is the Fate of All Fools.". Lbox87, this Onyx signing off, and wishing all the brave fighting men and women, the best of luck...because they are certainly going to need it.

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            • http://imgur.com/mqmAeCx

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              • I got this cheeseburger for a synth!

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              • Edited by Dude of Valor: 2/2/2015 10:35:45 AM
                New Monarchy has been concerned by this addiction. If there is a turf war brewing, we will resolve it.

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              • Still a better story than Destiny.

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              • This is awesome we need more news reports

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              • I shot up my final batch last night. I'm going Cold Turkey. I swear ;8) Ed

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              • Purple Sky and Kinderguardians got me 😂

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              • I cried

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              • Inspect me, I have no Purple Sky on me. If I do I was mistaken but I only buy it for nightfalls, heroics and raids lol.

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