{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
1/30/2015 3:15:15 AM
7
You're walking in the woods
There's no one around and your phone is dead
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him:
Shia LaBeouf.
He's following you, about 30 feet back
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
He's gaining on you
Shia LaBeouf
You're looking for you car but you're all turned around
He's almost upon you now
and you can see there's blood on his face
My God, there's blood everywhere!
Running for you life (from Shia LaBeouf)
He's brandishing a knife (It's Shia LaBeouf)
Lurking in the shadows
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf
Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf)
Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf)
Eating all the bodies
Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf
Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him
but you're hopelessly lost yourself
Stranded with a murderer
you creep silently through the underbrush
Aha! In the distance
A small cottage with a light on
Hope! You move stealthily toward it
but your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap!
Gnawing off your leg (Quiet, quiet)
Limping to the cottage (Quiet, quiet)
Now you're on the doorstep
Sitting inside: Shia LaBeouf
Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf)
But he doesn't hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf)
You're sneaking up behind him
Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf
Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf
Stab him in his kidney
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf
You limp into the dark woods
blood oozing from your stump leg
But you have won; you have beaten
Shia LaBeouf
Wait! He isn't dead (Shia surprise)
There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes
But you can do Jis Jitsu
Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf
Ledendary fight with Shia LaBeouf
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf
You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf
But blood is draining fast from your stump leg
He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck
You're chopping his head now
You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf
His head Topples to the floor, expressionless
You fall to your knees and catch your breath
You're finally safe from Shia Labeouf ...
[spoiler]Not taking credit for this. It all goes to the comedic genius Rob Cantor.[/spoiler]
English
-
I read this at work, and now everyone thinks I'm crazy. Maniacal laughter has ruined my professional rep.
-
Just tell them. :3
-
I follow along with the slow clap
-
Hello again.
-
[quote]You're walking in the woods There's no one around and your phone is dead Out of the corner of your eye you spot him: Shia LaBeouf. He's following you, about 30 feet back He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint He's gaining on you Shia LaBeouf You're looking for you car but you're all turned around He's almost upon you now and you can see there's blood on his face My God, there's blood everywhere! Running for you life (from Shia LaBeouf) He's brandishing a knife (It's Shia LaBeouf) Lurking in the shadows Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf) Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf) Eating all the bodies Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him but you're hopelessly lost yourself Stranded with a murderer you creep silently through the underbrush Aha! In the distance A small cottage with a light on Hope! You move stealthily toward it but your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg (Quiet, quiet) Limping to the cottage (Quiet, quiet) Now you're on the doorstep Sitting inside: Shia LaBeouf Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf) But he doesn't hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf) You're sneaking up behind him Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf Stab him in his kidney Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf You limp into the dark woods blood oozing from your stump leg But you have won; you have beaten Shia LaBeouf Wait! He isn't dead (Shia surprise) There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes But you can do Jis Jitsu Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf Ledendary fight with Shia LaBeouf Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf But blood is draining fast from your stump leg He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck You're chopping his head now You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf His head Topples to the floor, expressionless You fall to your knees and catch your breath You're finally safe from Shia Labeouf ... [spoiler]Not taking credit for this. It all goes to the comedic genius Rob Cantor.[/spoiler][/quote]
-
*slow clap*
-
