[b]tl:dr-Version by demand:[/b] I am feeling ashamed of being addicted to such a stupid game with so many game flaws (unbalanced crucible, repetitive gameplay, RNG, bad game design (more challenge only by more hitpoints, higher damage etc.) which forces you to just hide at a cheesy spot and shoot, reload, shoot, reload... and the lack of content) and still keep playing it, for which I hate myself. [b]Full version: [/b]Firstly I admit, I am addicted to this game. The carrot on a stick spiral really has me taken and it heavily influences my regular life, because I am investing so much time in this game. I even didn't go to work one day - I felt a little sick, but I could have gone to work - for reaching rank 5 in Iron Banner. And for what? I am so depressed and frustrated with this game and I will tell you why: At first this game is fun and the game mechanics are awesome. The crucible is intoxicating and action loaded fun, if it wasn't for the lag most of the time. (Are there even servers in Europe?) This in combination with the coop with friends is really, really good, despite this confusing and yet content lacking story and the even worse story telling in the game ("Don't even have time to tell you why I don't have time to tell you!") But after a while, you're in this spiral of hope to get those missing guns or gear pieces and you play the same things all over again all over again all over again. I even, which I never did before, created a second char, to raise my chances to get the Vex or other items. But you just don't get some things, no matter how often you play it. And my level of frustration seems to be low since some people played the hard raid for the Vex a whole lotta times (60+) more, than I did (8-10?) and still, they don't have it. I still don't have a Gjallarhorn, Icebreaker (funny thing, Xûr is selling it today... just to keep me going...) or Vex. Let me tell you my week in loot: Hard raid on tuesday. Got two chest pieces out of one chest! Otherwise one helmet, shards and energy. At Atheon a player had to leave and I brought of friend of mine in. We killed Atheon and I got TWO helmets, a Sparrow and shards. He got the Vex... the second time this week, since he played the hard raid pre reset on monday too. My Nightfall run gave me "Secret Handshake", a shotgun I already owned two times at that point. The christmas present gave me "Another NITC", which I already owned at that point. My Vanguard rank increase this week gave me "Another NITC", which I already owned two times at that point. The other hard raid yesterday gave me shards, energy, two helmets at Atheon und another Sparrow. Then I played Iron Banner and I was lagging the whole time. I see the enemy, but after half a second I am dead, but I takes me about 1-1.5 seconds (2-3 shots of a Thorn for example) to take one down. I am dead so fast with this Vex users, I can't do a thing and my aim is decent enough, believe me, but it seems, they are always ahead of me in seeing me. After an hour I was so frustrated and depressed, I decided to play one more game and win it, to get the rep while still temper buffed, and go to bed then and so I did. We won the game, I was worst player with a KD of 0.57 - I have to say here, I am not one of those 2+ players, but I started here in Destiny with a KD of 0.54 and now it is (was?) 1.01, which shows, I've learned my lessons and am a constant 1+ player - and what happend? I got the Suros Regime in the last game... which I already owned two times at that point. So, one might say, I should quit the game or change my attitude. Changing the attitude would mean, not to play for items, but for fun, but that's just the thing... there is no fun in this game. It is so repetitive and the challenging things are only challenging, because the enemies hit you so hard, have so many hitpoints or/and there are so many, you just have to hide in a cheesy spot and just take your time to take em down. Even the raids are becoming boring after you learned the mechanics, but you still "have" to play them, to get this gear... There is hardly any tactical challenge in this game, it's all mostly just hide and shoot. Yesterday we did the weekly level 30 with two level 31. Tell me, we suck, but it took us nearly an hour, because our dps are somehow so low, even with fully leveled gear and it is so -blam!-ing boring to run from one cheese spot to the other, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, ammo synthesis, super, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload... after a while I ranted of boreness, ran out, tried to do some hit'n run, get ammo... Captain teleporting next to me, melee, dead... ok, back to hide, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload... So, if there is no fun and changing my attitude wouldn't help, I have to quit... ... but hey, I have now to level that IceBreaker... I feel so stupid and retarded in doing this and yet I can't stop it and still have this thought on my mind: "Oh, you have still one Nightfall to go this week. THIS TIME you will get this Gjallarhorn (IceBreaker and Vex are out of the list for obvious reasons). And this is just my emotional inner self concerning Destiny. Don't get me started on the unbalanced Crucible, the broken economy - constantly lacking some ressource while piling up others in the vault - and and and... And worst thing is, this is done by Bungie by design. This game is so full of timesinks and it's all so on purpose to maximize the income... it is just not a good game, even if I spent 270 hours in it yet... it is just not good overall! It's awesome game mechanics embedded in a terrible game design! I am so done with this game but I am not yet done with this game... if you know what I mean?