When I was in college I decided for one day I would live without any -blam!-ing limits, for those 24 hours I was free man, I was on the edge of glory, it was probably THE sickest day in history. Presidents' Day weekend, you know what that means I'm heading back to the code a.k.a my home town a.k.a slam central station a.k.a area 151 >Be me >wake up >I came in my sleep >Damnit >take off my boxers >throw them under the bed to let them dry off >gallop to the bathroom naked >I got stink breath >I think about brushing my teeth >don't do it >only used mouthwash >this time I'm going to drink it >YOLO >my mom goes out grocery shopping >I smoke some weed in a corn cob pipe >get lifted >throw that shit in the woods >I don't wanna get caught >head down stairs >eat a bowl of gummy bears and Oreos for breakfast >ain't no stopping me now >get on stage >log into Facebook >let the world see I'm online >YOLO, you only log on >Facebook is a zoo >mad people online >I hit every one of them up >yo where the party at tonight? >turns out all my friends decided to stay back at Indiana >they left me >that's no big I don't need them >I ride SOLO! >I miss them though >I'm ripping through Facebook >I see this one chick who's friends of friends of friends of mine in a picture with some friends >I'm thinking "Damn this girl could be my wife!" >she's not tagged on any of these photos >that's a problem >I don't give up that easy >Searched through albums of photos >NAILED her, found her tag >friend request sent >Skype sex guaranteed >but whatever -blam!- that slut >I'm onto the next >I went and signed up for pintrest, just try to stop me >I pinned cats, kittens, kitty cats, oceans, food, cakes, cupcakes, making cupcakes, shows about cupcakes, hot guys, muscles, crafts, melted crayon pictures, shoes, stickers, health, running, sciences, horses, beaches, muffins, Starbucks, big sunglasses, sex positions, >then I just went porn hub >just knuckled balled it to some hentai >YOLO >forgot to clean up >mom found it later >after all the excitement I needed to wind down with some memes >so I pretended they were real funny and pushed them to Facebook >six hours straight on the computer there ain't no stopping me man this day's crazy, I'm living right now, in front of my computer, I might as well stop telling the story now because you're never gonna believe what came next Laundry >i needed some fresh beaters for the gym >I did the whites and colors all in one load, >I live dangerous bro, >I didn't put it in the dryer >just wore it wet >YOLO you only load once >I go straight to my bedroom and lay face down on my bed for 4 hours >now it's 10pm at night time >I come alive in the night time >it's time to hit the gym >gyms closed >I break in to the nearby playground which I had no fence >I got my pump on swol now >I head straight to a nearby high school party that I was only not invited to but was specifically told not to go >I come into the party hot >since I'm in college now I brang a six pack of craft beer, some 9 percent, heavy ipa imperial stout >drank six >now I'm playing pool by myself >then I made girls feel my biceps >and then I left >then I drunk drove >not really I watched the movie "drive" drunk >then I got really emotional and showed up at my ex girlfriends house wasted at 3am >screaming her name >puked on her outdoor cat >tried to bang her mom >tried to fight her dad >socked him right in the gut >tried to fight him again >they just caroled me into a snuggy and fed me Mac n cheese >then put me to bed on their futon >they're really nice people >then I ended up spitting up blood in my sleep and they woke me up and took me to the hospital! >doctors told me I've been drinking too much mouthwash >that's why I was spitting up Blood