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Edited by xRADIOACT1V3x: 1/11/2015 4:02:15 PM
21

ITT post different versions of the navy seal copypasta

Canadian version Pardon me, did you just say something to me eh? I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class in the Canadian Politeness Force, and I've been involved in numerous secret runs to Tim Hortons, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in welcoming warfare and am the most passive aggressive member of the entire canadian population. You are a person that I have yet to make friends with. I will talk to you with kindness the likes of which have never been seen before on this earth, mark my passiveness. You think you can get away with not saying thank you? Think again, neighbour. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of syrup drinking penguins across the northern territories and your IP is being traced so you better prepare for the gift baskets, buddy. The gift baskets that not only contain Gift cards, but donuts from tim hortons too. You're gonna be befriended, guy. I can be nice anywhere, anytime, and can be nice to you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just if I write letters. Not only am i extensively trained in passive aggressive combat, but I have access to the entire moose army of the Canadian Maple Leaf Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to welcome your friendly ass right into the neighbourhood. You little neighbourino. If you had only known what friendly retribution your comment was about to bring down, maybe you would have eaten poutine with me. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're gonna let me pay the bill because that's how nice I am, guy. I will put you in the hospital and it will cost nothing cause our healthcare is free. I'll say sorry now, friendo.

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  • Jesus I missed this post! PLEASE COME BACK!

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    • Necro?

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    • What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.

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      • Edited by Revenant: 1/11/2015 6:06:18 PM
        What the -blam!- did you just say about me, you alpha male? I'll have you know I barely graduated at the bottom of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've yet to be involved in a single raid on the United States, and I have under 300 nonconfirmed lives. I am not trained in orangutan warfare and I'm the worst sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are everything to me and not just another target. I will keep you the fuc­k alive with imprecision the likes of which has been seen over and over again on this Earth, mark my fuc­king words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? You're right, -blam!-er. As we speak I am failing to contact my public network of spies across the USA and your IP is being hidden right now so you need not prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the glorious, big thing you call your life. You're fuc­king alive, kid. I can't be anywhere, anytime, and I can save you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I barely trained in unarmed combat, but I have no access to any of the arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I can't use it to an even partial extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little piss. If only you could have known what holy sympathy your big "dumb" comment was about to bring up upon you, maybe you wouldn't have held your fuc­king tongue. But you could, you did, and now you're receiving the reward, you goddamn genius. I will shit calmness all over you and you will drown in it. You're fuc­king alive, kiddo.

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        • What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and -blam!- over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.

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          • What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about Navy Seal copypastas, you little newfag? I’ll have you know they've ranked top out of all the comments on the Internet, and they have been translated in numerous contexts on 4chan, and have over 300 confirmed variants. Navy Seal copypastas are trained in memetic warfare and are the top copypasta in the entire circlejerk arsenel. You are nothing to them but just another target. They will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this subreddit, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about Navy Seal copypastas over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak this copypasta is contacting it's secret network of /b/tards across the USA and your IP is being doxxed right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. Navy Seal copypastas can be anywhere, anytime, and they can confuse you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with mad-lib permutations. Not only are they extensively trained in trolling, but they have access to the entire arsenal of Anonymous and will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Internet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. This copypasta will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo.

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          • What the Shishka did you just say to me you little peg boy? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the flood and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Sapphire,TFS The Flood Sanctuary, Emerald, Sociopaths United and I have over 300 confirmed Camnator accounts. I am trained in #Destiny warfare and I'm the top poster in the #Gaming forums. You are nothing to me but another John Cena. I will ban hammer you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this forum. Mark my -blam-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Achronos. As we speak I am contacting Desembodied Soul, Recon Number 54, DeeJ and Marty O'Donnel and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Fox News. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Your -blam-ing porch day, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime. And I can kill you in over 777 ways and that's just with my bare penis. Not only am I extensively trained in Raven stomping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of image macros service, Secondclass accounts, Bungie.net system encryption software and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the flood. You little Felecia, if only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever "comment" was about to bring down on you, maybe you would have held your -blam-ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now your paying the price, Shadows peg boy. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're -blam-ing Verbatim kiddo.

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            • What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little DeeJ? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Seventh Column, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on #Destiny, and I have over 300 confirmed mutes. I am trained in argument warfare and I’m the top floodian on Bungie.net. You are nothing to me but just another Newfoman. I will ban you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of Recon, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of moderators across the forums and your Private Messages are being traced right now so you better prepare for the shitstorm, fgt. The shitstorm that bans your pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re -blam!-ing banned, kido. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can troll you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my MLG Razer Keyboard. Not only am I extensively trained in Butthurt Feeding, but I have access to the all of the passwords of Bungie.net and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hard drive off the face of the Universe, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing banned, kiddo.

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              • I'm Canadian, and that was pretty violent.

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                • ما هي اللعنة هل مجرد سخيف يقولون عني، كنت الكلبة قليلا؟ سآخذ تعلمون تخرجت أعلى صفي في الأختام البحرية، ولقد شاركت في العديد من الغارات السرية على قناة القاعدة، ولدي أكثر من ثل300 يقتل المؤكدة. انا تدربت في حرب الغوريلا وأنا قناص كبار في القوات المسلحة الأميركية بأكملها. أنت لا شيء بالنسبة لي ولكن مجرد هدف آخر. وسوف يمسح لك اللعنة خارج بدقة أمثال الذي لم يسبق له مثيل من قبل على هذه الأرض، علامة كلامي سخيف. كنت تعتقد أنك يمكن أن تفلت من هذا القرف قائلا لي عبر الإنترنت؟ اعتقد مرة اخرى، الأبله. ونحن نتكلم أنا على الاتصال بي شبكة سرية من الجواسيس في جميع أنحاء الولايات المتحدة الأمريكية و الخاص بك يتم تتبعها الآن لذلك كنت أفضل إعداد للعاصفة، يرقة. العاصفة التي تقضي على الشيء القليل مثير للشفقة استدعاء حياتك. كنت سخيف ميتا، طفل. يمكنني أن أكون في أي مكان وفي أي وقت، وأستطيع أن أقتلك في أكثر من سبعمائة الطرق، وهذا فقط مع يدي عارية. لست فقط تدربت على نطاق واسع في القتال الأعزل، ولكن لدي الوصول إلى ترسانة كاملة من مشاة البحرية الولايات المتحدة الأمريكية وسأستخدم إلى مداه الكامل للقضاء مؤخرتك بائسة من على وجه القارة، وكنت قليل الخراء. إلا

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                  • What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Spartan Forces, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Covenant forces, and I have over 300 confirmed Brute Chieftain assassinations. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire UNSC Special Forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this sector, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over Battlenet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ONI spies across space and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're -blam!-ing dead, split-chin. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United Nations Space Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass out of this universe, you squid-head. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your jaw. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn split-lip. I will rain lead all over you and you will drown in it. You're -blam!-ing dead, hinge-head.

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                    • What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo. I don’t give a -blam!- who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your -blam!-ing life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much -blam!-ing pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a -blam!-ing back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a -blam!- how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many -blam!-ing guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll -blam!-ing show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the -blam!- out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a -blam!-ing heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my -blam!-ing car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could -blam!-ing destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great -blam!-ng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing -blam!-ing hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll -blam!-ing resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.[spoiler]the full one [/spoiler]

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                    • What the shrek did you just shreking say about me, you little puss? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Shreks, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on fairytale creatures, and I have over 300 confirmed swamps. I am trained in donkeh warfare and I'm the top shreker in the entire Duloc armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will shrek you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this swamp, mark my shreking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, shreker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of pixies across Duloc and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, swamp maggot. The storm that shreks out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're -blam!-ing shreked, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can shrek you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare ear tube antenna things. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed shrek, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Duloc Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to shrek your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little puss. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your shreking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're shreking shreked, kiddo.

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                      • Okay, so you expect me to believe that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) were the very best that your generation of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) had to offer? I highly doubt that. If you were as ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) as you say you were, I don't think for a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that you would be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). This is mostly a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that still live with their ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that don't have any ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). It really isn't the place for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to be hanging out in their ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) time. Even if it was, something far worse than a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) probably would have set you off a long time ago. What about the slew of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that gets ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) here on a regular basis? Isn't that something that deserves a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and made to regret their ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Yeah, you're just not the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) type. Sure, there's a wide variety of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) here, but you're far from the core ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) if you are who you say you are (which isn't the case). Even if it were true that you're an ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), I think all the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) discipline would prevent you from getting ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) enough to murder some random ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I also doubt that even the best ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) have a "secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)". Why would all of the most expansive ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) network in the world be willing to help a troubled ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hunt down some random ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? That doesn't even make sense. If you're gonna try to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) somebody, make it more believable than "IM A ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) HURR DURR". You might frighten a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) who doesn't know any ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), but to most of us you just look like a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) with an ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and a very active ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Hopefully ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will be easier for you when your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is over. Best of luck with that... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

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                        • God damn I luv these.

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                        • What the fu­ck did you just fuc­king say about me, you little bully? I’ll have you know I lasted 16 years in Canada, and I’ve been involved in numerous raids on my own body, and I have over 300 ML of bleach drank. I am trained in self harm and I’m the top Clorox chugger in BC, Canada. I will wipe myself the fu­ck out with chugging the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fuc­king words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fuc­­ker. As we speak I am knotting my 2 meters long of rope across my neck and your feels are being hurt right now so you better prepare for the suicide, bully. The suicide that wipes out the pathetic little thing I call my life. You’re fuc­king done kid. I can die anywhere, anytime, and I can kill myself in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with Clorox and rope, you fu­cked up bully, I will shit sadness on you and you will drown in it, I’m fu­cking done kiddo.

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                        • Edited by Revenant: 1/11/2015 6:07:39 PM
                          What the fuc­k did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Spartan Forces, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Covenant forces, and I have over 300 confirmed Brute Chieftain assassinations. I am trained in gorill­a warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire UNSC Special Forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f­uck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this sector, mark my fuc­king words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over Battlenet? Think again, fu­cker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ONI spies across space and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fu­cking dead, split-chin. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United Nations Space Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass out of this universe, you sq­uid-head. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your jaw. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn split-lip. I will rain lead all over you and you will drown in it. You're fuc­king dead, hinge-head.

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                        • I just want to see one where someone actually bothered to correct "gorilla" to "guerrilla"

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                          • Bump

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                            • Edited by JROS7 II: 1/11/2015 4:11:32 PM
                              I remember someone making a Ned Flanders one, but I don't know where to find it

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