Would you respond to a PM if I wrote one to you, sir?

I'm not depressed just wanted to say it's a good gesture from you.

I would just like to say life is a bitch. -blam!- YOU LIFE! *waves both middle fingers wildly in the air* Seriously though, life is a bitch. Every good thing I do, something bad always happens vice versa. Life gave me lemons, and I tried to make lemon grenades, but I got lemon juice in meh eyes. Life doesn't like me that much either, but whatevs. I don't give a shit. Wake up every morning, get yelled at, go to school, get yelled at, Get a 100% on meh test, get yelled at for not getting the bonus, Parents neva satisfied, never, I right poetry, it helps, I tried singing too, I'm decent, But I thought of cutting, thought of suicide, but it ain't that logical, why die? Mars is waiting for me, m80s, can't let anyone down, try to help, try to make the world better, life just kicks me right in the arse, can't shake the feeling, that I'm not wanted, never eva wanted, never eva, Yet somehow, I fit in, I smile and laugh, I walk and talk, and I have loads of friends, but sometimes, the burden of so many friends is too much, you worry, you cry, you even get a little shy, but I never stopped worrying, about what they might do, or turn out to be, maybe another person, someone new, but somehow my mind always goes to that one girl, the center of my world, if she ever wanted to be there, anyways, she left, her love a memory, but her still very real, since I saved her from her death, a suicide, I never felt important, until she came along, now an insignificant lump, alone I crawl, the feeling is real, it's just to hard to shake, I never thought it'd happen, maybe I'll break, my iPod is gone, my parents found out, I feel like I wanna scream, scream aloud and shout, but I can't, it slowly eats away, the only thing left I have, the only thing I remain, I am me, there is only one me, only one me and one you, I must save the ones I can, cuz not everyone is perfect, some people need help, I even feel, sometimes, an insignificant welp, but one things for certain, one thing is true, I will always be there, to help you. [spoiler]As I said, poetry is my thing. As I started finding a groove in my words, I couldn't hold it in. But this is my life right now, I may not need help, but I thought I'd share.[/spoiler]

*removed for personal reasons

Bump.

I'm not really good at giving advice to people anymore. The best thing I can do for friends is get them drunk or something.

Started a new topic: Have a disease or medical problem? I'll actually try to help(92 Replies))

you just gotta keep on keepin on

Do you know what it feels like to be in hell, lad? A metaphorical hell, of course, but painful nonetheless. I live this hell every day, and while it's not always sad moments, there's certainly enough of it to break a man So there's this lass, see, and she means the world to me, I even helped convince her not to convince suicide once, I've been her sort o' guardian, you see. And I was really the only one who listened, she's put up with a little hell of her own, and there was a time where we were closer than anyone could be... But alas, that all went down the drain, there's distance between us, metaphorically and literally, we live quite a ways apart. And over time she's just seemed to become... Distant And I endure this pain, this torture, daily, and it's gotten to the point where I've realized I have no chance with her (least not right now) but the fire still burns in me, letting go is the hardest part, isn't it? Yet I fear she may not even consider me a friend soon, we argue occasionally, over stupid things really. And her and I both tire of the arguments, I just want peace, which her solution to it is to just drop the subject, ignore it, I prefer to talk it out, you know, make amends. It's not going well, yet, despite all this pain, It still brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart with every moment we spend together. And every happy moment I have with her is a blessing, just lately there haven't been very many happy moments

I'm depressed and I cut. Can somebody help me out

I'm not here looking for help, I'm here to share my story because I have nowhere and nobody to share it with because when I do, everyone tells me to shut up because they think I'm just rambling. I have been critically depressed for over 7 months due to being bullied at school for not being one of those dumbass rich white kids who thinks their gangsters and thinks our school and where we live is the ghetto and those kids don't respect anyone in those poverty ridden places what so ever, except me, I am very smart and respect those people unlike the students I'm bullied by because I'm different then they are because I'm shorter, I'm an artist with a vast imagination, and I don't get out much because I have no friends at all because nobody likes me or even acknowledges my existence and the times I am acknowledged I get made fun of. The depression is so crippling I rarely smile, I have no energy to do anything, I have no self esteem in myself, and the only thing that makes me happy is drawing and making art. Sadly, my schools teachers have banned me from drawing in all classes and I can't even draw anymore, the depression and stress from school made me lose all of my creative ideas and I have no time at home to draw because all day after school I work on homework until 10 or 11 pm and fight with my parents because there's to much homework to do and I get stressed and since I have no where to turn to I yell at my parents and I can't control it because I don't have time to learn how to and all I do is work and get bullied in an endless cycle of hellish madness. And to be honest I don't know how much longer I can hold on to the last bit of sanity I have left in me anymore. I just...can't do this anymore... Why? Why can't I just be happy? I know there are people that are suffering worse then me but why? Why do we have to suffer? Just why?....

Will you give me a decent paying job that would help my depression.

The girl I asked out said no I'm not looking for a boyfriend

I broke the wrist of the hand I wank it with. Life has no meaning anymore.

I[b]BEWARE THIS BLOCK OF TEXT IM SORRY[/b] I've been diagnosed with depression, and it's a terrible thing. I see a therapist, and I see a psychiatrist, and I have loving family and friends that try to support me. However, a recent turn of events is making me extremely depressed, and I have no one to talk to at the moment. To start off, I was born with many issues. I had ASD/VSD, they're holes in the walls of the heart. There were three, and all by one has closed up. I developed GERD's (acid reflux on freaking meth basically) at a young age. Now, as a 16 year old whose life goal was to join the military (a goal set when I was just a toddler) I am now told there is no way for me to join. I have a leak in my heart next to my aorta valve, and that paired with my hole (VSD) can cause pressure to my aortic valve, which happens to be unnaturally large. I will require open heart surgery to clog up the holes before my valve blows later on. With my GERD's, I need to radically change my diet, which was pretty balanced In the first place. GERD's tears the lining o my esophagus, and my chance for throat cancer is increased. It also can form a hernia, which I do no remember the name o, but the doctors say if I keep up my diet I'll develop it. I'm in a relationship, and it's starting to go down hill. She is starting to get more distant, she's making up excuses to not come over or go on dates, and she never lets me in when I ask her what's wrong. Alas, I realize I'm young, and my life will be full of others, but still. She makes me happy, and id like to keep her around for as long as i can. On top of this, my grandfather, who I loved dearly, passed away recently. I called my Nana the other day to sing her happy birthday, as that is custom in my family, and his voice was her answering machine. I broke down in tears. The thing that hurts the most, is having to be told that something you've worked so hard for, a dream that you've had since kindergarten, will remain just that. A dream. I've wanted to join the military since I could think for myself. I wanted to be a navy FMF corpsman, I even joined NJROTC and I'm focusing all of my classes on medical fields, like AP Bio, Anatomy, things like that. I've worked so hard to get where I'm at. I've had to drag myself out of bed when I was at the lowest point of depression, not wanting to live another second in this world, but I did. I wanted to help others, I wanted to fight and heal others who couldn't do it on their own. Now, I cant. I don't even want to eat anymore, it bothers me so much. I honestly don't know what I want to do with my life. Some will say "become a doctor". I could, but you see I'm not exactly financially stable, and I probably couldn't afford medical school. Sports isn't an option either, I quit football and wrestling, both I had a natural talent for, for NJROTC. Even if I wanted to go back and play, I couldn't now. I'm confused, broken, tired, and lost. I have no one to turn to right now, my significant other isn't here for me right now, and I'm laying here in bed, tears falling from my eyes, typing this out on a stupid forum for the world to see. You all now know my story, and I'll admit, it's not the worst one out there. If you happen to recognize me in real life from this, I beg you, help, for I am too tired, and not motivated to scream that word anymore. To others, and OP, my case isn't the worst. Help others before me, and make sure the people that don't have people to cry and vent to have someone. It really makes a difference.

I'm not actually depressed, but I fear I'm gaining a Holden Caulfield syndrome. I'm pretty much done with my Sega in my hometown, by August 02 I'm leaving to go to a military institution where I essentially go off the grid. Now I'm looking back at what I did wrong and what I did right . In High School:Freshman year, I was a -blam!- up, set a microwave on fire (didn't get caught, no one saw it but my friend. So we claimed it was a seniors last act of rebellion), failed math and didn't focus on grades. Granted I was a social kid, and hanged around groups. Sophomore year I said "No -blam!- this" and focused on grades. Found this small group of alright nerds, 1 Mr Skelton and 2 Tumblr type females. They'll always look to me to get assistance with personal problems, they even went so far to say I should become a -blam!-ing therapist. Though one of the tumblrites said that she was able to go see some Dr Who shit in a week, and hell she was excited. Yet after the weekend after that we get news she died, and did that hit Mr Skelton hard. Poor guy was bawling his eyes out for days on end, and after the news everyone looked for me for answers. I was the only one who knew her in that class that wasn't in a train wreck mood, I felt bad but I didn't exactly know her that well. I went to a little moment of silence for her outside the school out of respect, I felt it was right seeing I knew her.After that I just continued to help out my remain 2 friends in that class. Junior year was a train wreck and I guess a uplifting. Well that's when I was at the peak when it came to being social, I was known by a large amount of seniors and underclassmen. Though that's not when the train went off the rails. It was a -blam!-ing girl, a short one, one that was hella insecure, one that seemed like a baby bird out of it's nest. In this class i knew no one, but she and her friend pulled me in, and over time shit started to escalate. I learned she had tally marks for each day she didn't self inflict, she never ate thinking she was to fat, and had fears of being to melodramatic. Almost everyday, I'll remind her to don't give a -blam!- on what others think of her. And over time she got healthier, she had a more positive outlook on life. She did the same for me also, she listened to me and my struggles. Now after the 1st semester ended, she ended up in my math class. She still used me as a way to communicate with people, and over time she became more outgoing to people then me. We played games in that class and helped each other out. By this time she felt like the little sister I never had, someone I can true protect. The hill turned once people started asking me if we were together, I always declined then one -blam!- time I got stupid as hell. I thought "You know....maybe I should ask her out". Back in first semester i remembered, we were watch a movie, lights went off turning the room into a dark void. She clinched to my thigh and brushed it off like it was nothing, so I did too. Eventually the time came were I did it, and she looked like a tiger just came and murdered her family. Only to respond with a faint "no". I'm not going to get into the rest of this story, we split ways and when we saw each other after we would only glance at each other then go on with our lives. Senior year:1st Semester. Okay so it started on a week called spirit week, randomly some girl that knows me from my sister asks if I can take me home, I of course do it and it becomes a thing for months. I'm kinda a shy kid so I try to strike up conversation and she'll listen even how bland it is. Yet I'll listen to her troubles, her dad was going through surgery, sister was getting married and working. Also she always told me how she always has to tender to her alcoholic BF. We would just talk about how we always don't feel in place with the groups were in, I hanged with the weebs, she was with the preps. We would talk about our older siblings bring us down and any other random thing. Now last week of the 1st semester, we talk about what classes we have next semest' and ends up we have government the block. We just hope we have the same classes, yet that didn't turn out to be true. 2nd last day my brother had to pick us up and we sat outside the school waiting for him, I told her he'll be here in a minute. She says on how there's a bright blue sky that we can look at and if I'm sad that we may never see each other after. Brother came before I can truly answer that and we took her home. Now on the last day we just hoped we would be in another class together, last thing I did with her was wave bye. Now I want to just call her to say, "hey" but let's move on. Second semester I tried to lay low, get grades and GTFO. Don't get involved and just remain under the level. Eventually this kid got into my life, he was a loner, and I had him in all my classes. He eventually started talking to me cause I knew what the hell anime was. I put him under my wing and helped him communicate with others problem is, I'm certain he had autism, I'm not even joking or atleast a low level of it, he could not get a hint to save his life and had low grades. I brought him to my lunch table so he can communicate with others and he did just that, But boy did he not think about what he's saying or gave a -blam!- what he was saying. Eventually my lunch table put the burden on me to tell him that they want him gone. I told him to be more respectful of others, then he showed me his little anime drawing, but damn did he have a talent with art. At lunch my table moved to another table to avoid him, I felt -blam!-ing bad doing it but I did it. They told him we had no seats when he found us and he just sat alone, even when I told him that day "see him at lunch" but -blam!- I felt bad. I was afraid when I get to my next class, he'll avoid me. But for some reason he was still happy and showed me his completed drawing. He was even quiet and more respectful. Over time i kinda became his older brother and helped him pass. And then I got out of HS Well, that's my sap story , honestly don't know why I did this and no one will read it. Not even myself. Just had to let it go. Frozen references need not apply

When I was 12 I managed to get out of depression by myself with only telling one friend. Of course it still left awful mental scars.

Feeling like there is no real point in like existing, I know I won't make a large impact on the world or anything of the sort, I'm more of a disappointment to my family then an over achiever. And I just feel nothing most of the time, I do have a girlfriend who I love and care for but sometimes that doesn't even help. On top of that my mom has a severe drug addiction and no matter what we have told her she just won't go get the help she needs, she is stubborn and hard headed and i don't even feel like she is much of a mom to me anymore. She neglected me most of my life due to drugs and I never met my real dad, I do have a step dad who is awesome and tries his best to make us happy. But I still just feel I don't belong here. It just tears me apart day by day and I feel myself slipping. I get no sleep and my only like way out is video games which i haven't played due to school. Sorry about the long text and the shitty grammar.

I don't want to finish Mass Effect 3... [spoiler]IMNOTREADYFORTHEEVENTSTHATAREGOINGTOTAKEPLACE[/spoiler]

I'm depressed. It's just hard to see the point in a world like this one.

If you aren't busy I'm sad, so not depressed, so after you get through with everyone else would you come talk to me?