So there I was Eating breakfast with my family My brother Johnny pulls out the box of Lucky Charms My dad sees them and tells us not to eat them "Those things are bad for you, and they're pretty -blam!-ing nasty too." My mom rebuked my father for using such language, but agreed with him nonetheless Johnny looks at me and says "yeah! The marshmallows are too dry and and there aren't enough of them!" He then goes back to eating his Frosted Flakes, like the pleb he is. All of a sudden, we heard this strange wooshing sound coming from the box Lucky crawls out of the box to where only his head is outside of it, and he then stares strangely at my dad Lucky then shifts his sight to my dad's crotch "Hearts, Stars, and Horseshoes, Clovers and Blue Moons," Lucky jumps out of the box, on to the floor, and quickly walks in between my dad's legs "Hourglasses, Rainbows," Lucky grins an evil grin, foam dripping from his mouth "and Tasty Red Balloons!" He then bites through my dad's shorts and tears his balls off with his teeth My dad screams in pain, grasping frantically at his bloody crotch; his panic causing his chair to fall back My family just say there, staring in shock as he writhed in pain on the floor, covered in the blood from his crotch Lucky spits my dad's testicles out into his hand, and pulls out what appears to be a charm bracelet He ties my dad's manhood to the bracelet Lucky then looks at Johnny, who is staring at Lucky's bracelet Lucky stares viciously at Johnny "They're always trying to steal me lucky charms," he spat out with a jealous tone Lucky leaps over the table onto my brother's lap My brother is only 10, so he's just wearing a shirt and his underwear Lucky grasps my brother's penis through his underwear He yanks it off whilst making a horrific sigh of pleasure He ties my brother's flaccid penis to his bracelet My pregnant mother screams and grabs a large knife from the kitchen Lucky evades her blows and blasts her with a wave of rainbow energy The knife falls out of her hands, and she falls onto the floor beside the counter Lucky walks towards her, his hands behind his back and his face bearing a devious grin He tears my mom's shirt and bra off Grabbing the discarded knife, Lucky chops my mother's nipples off, causing blood and breast milk to spew everywhere My mother screams in pain Lucky uses the blood and milk as a glue, and sticks my mother's nipples onto his bracelet Lucky leaps back onto the table and looks at me He snaps his fingers, then jumps into the box once more. The box refills itself I call 911, pour myself some more Lucky Charms, and eat some while I wait for the ambulance to arrive And that is why I love Lucky Charms.