So I met this girl named Ali, she's super hawt, like daaayyuum, like mhhm, I'd tap that 27 hours a day, I digress. I asked her out and she said yes. Everyone else was like "shit no dawg, that dudes a demon." She doesn't care. We go out to dinner at this place called Crown Plaza thirty-five stories tall the restaurant is on the top floor, the rest is a hotel it's extremely expensive but what do I care? I'm rich. I get dressed in a black suit with a red tie. I drive by to pick her up and she's in this extremely flattering dark blue dress that barely goes past her thighs. I think to myself "Abby's gettin sum 2nite, ya feel?" We get to the restaurant and this dude asks for our registration, I'm not about that life so I never got one. Now, because I'm with Ali, I don't want to jab a pencil in this guys metacarpals (hue) and cause a scene, so instead I say "Sir, it's a very special night for us could you make an exception?" He says "No." So I ask him if we can speak privately, he said sure. I take him over to this convenient corner where nobody is watching and jam my fist in this guys rib cage and extract his heart, didn't even get blood on the suit. (played Surgeon Simulator a lot) I then proceed to wash my hands and come back to find a nice table for Ali and I by the window. We order our food, I get the prime rib and she gets the lobster. While we wait we talk about the world, our views other unimportant things. We surprisingly have a lot in common, but as we were talking I noticed this dude eyeing Ali. He's in this white suit with bleach blonde hair and blue eyes, he's the definition of a pretty boy, he might have even got a perm, and he looks like Hitlers prodigy child. Hitlers not actually a bad guy don't get me wrong. He's sitting with a bunch of other people, looks like his family and maybe a few friends, all extremely blonde and pampered looking, it's probably a birthday or something. Anyway, as the night progresses Ali and I are getting more and more into each other. (Not as much as I will be in her when we get home, hue) The blonde fruit cake starts walking over, pulls a seat up to our table and starts talking to Ali, completely ignoring me, dafuq.jpg. This dude starts hitting on her and it's pretty apparent that she's uncomfortable. I tell him to politely screw off and go back to his Lannister looking family. He ignores it and actually starts to rub Ali's shoulder. [b][i]NU UH, DID HE JUST DO THAT?! DID HE ACTUALLY JUST DO THAT?! HE GONNA LEARN TODAY[/i][/b]. I grab this fgt by the collar and he starts screaming about messing up his perm. I knew it. He makes this screeching noise to alert his inscestual family of the clear and present danger he's in. They spring into action, the men take off their shirts. I don't know why, and start advancing towards me. I throw Sir faggalot aside and take Ali somewhere else so I can begin the Genocide of Crown Plaza. The family seemed to have multiplied by three fold when I came back. Shirtless blonde men everywhere, the women seem to be for support and stay back casting healing spells. I summon three ten foot tall minotaurs, top-tier demons they are, great guys to, we have lunch sometimes. They go off to distract some of the blonde horde while I deal with the rest. They materialize swords from the air and rush me, you can smell the body oil and hair conditioning from 15 yards away. One idiot jumps and accidentally impales himself on my horn, still alive. I swing his wriggling body around like a rag doll bashing the other aggressors away, then I rip the dude off my horns, throw him to the ground and curb stomp him into the carpet. "I got brain matter on my shoes, mang." Cliché fight scene ensues, blood and corpses everywhere, minotaurs running people through. Through the haze of battle I see Fagglord, the one that hit on my date. We meet in the middle of the room, and start exchanging blows. He's actually very strong, but I have him on the ropes. He starts to lose ground as I overwhelm him, he backs up into the window, it breaks, and he starts to fall. I grab his tie "Sup fig." I say. He's screeching again for help but wait, everyone's dead. "plz Abby noo, I'm soory."he says, I respond "Goodnight, my sweet prince." I drop his ass thirty-five stories, screaming on his way down. I lol. I walk back to get Ali and notice the grandma trying to crawl away, bitch lost an arm and a leg. I lol again and proceed to take Ali home. She said she had a great time and we should go out again. TL;DR Prime rib was excellent.