This is the tale of how I decided to friendzone myself to avoid a relationship with someone I'm really compatible with.
A couple of weeks ago I met a girl. As soon as I met her, I had weird vibes about her. Something just didn't feel like it added up.
Last weekend, I really started to get to know her. We talked for hours each night and she hung out at my place today.
The traces of narcism, the look she had when she lied that seemed to say she believed it, the flirting and the apparent clingyness to her Ex.
It's a defence mechanism from the rejection she's had. Her Mother leaving when she was young, her boyfriends all "leaving for someone else" and her lack of faith in the education system (not in its value, but in how it didn't jump out to help her).
Yeah, she's interesting, funny and a lot like me; but even with everything I've learnt she still seems like there's a huge wall up. She been telling herself her whole life that it's not her fault. People keep leaving and it's not her fault.
She's unhappy and I thought I could fix it. I think that must have been what attracted me in the first place. There's something broken that I could try and mend.
I could wait. I could ignore my gut feeling and the opinions of two of my best friends. I could try and start a relationship with this awesome girl that's easy to get along with and shares interest with me.
But if I did, I wouldn't be happy. I'd keep thinking that there's something wrong here. and I don't think I can fix it.
Sorry for the wall of text, just thought that I'd vent. Describe your current love life here if you want. Tell us a tale.
UPDATE:
Changed my mind, asked her out. She likes me and we're meeting up tomorrow for lunch to talk about it.
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I'm tearing right now [spoiler]just kidding tldr[/spoiler]
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;( I teared
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Update for love
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Ahhh, this reminds of my past relationship: -Things went very quickly, I only started speaking to her a couple of days before,, and as soon as I asked her out (with a little bit of force from her, I might add) , we pretty much started doing things that should take weeks/months for couples to get too. -She got into such a bad way with her family that she was considering moving with her father on the other side of the country. -She was then diagnosed with depression and had to start taking medicine. -Then, I found that she had only just recently broke up with her year long boyfriend and when his friends and pretty much everyone who knew her found out about me, a poopstorm was unleashed (got called a downgrade among other things) And that's when I ended it. The icing on the cake being that all of the stuff above happened within a week. The cherry on top of that icing? It was my first relationship. So yeah, tread carefully.
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My second post. Maybe she is sharing all those facts with you because she believes that you will not judge her? She trusts you and feels like she can speak freely to you? Maybe thats her way of getting over, maybe she didn;t really speak about these things to anyone before but now feels that she needs to let them out in order to move on?
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I'm not saying Jack shit
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Keep referring to the pair of you as friends. It'll end eventually when she realises you're not going to refer to your relationship as anything else.
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Tis a noble gesture
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On purpose. Right.
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I still think she's cray cray. I'd say get a friendship happening and if it develops into something more, try it out without really trying it out. Go on a date without dating. That sort of thing. You don't need to date people to make them happy. Also, what you said about the whole "She been telling herself her whole life that it's not her fault. People keep leaving and it's not her fault." makes so much sense. She has such a high opinion of herself it's driving me mad. "I mean, look at Jack and then look at me." Who says shit like that?
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I've been there before. Her friends were wacko. Recently I discovered i might have to do it again, I think this girl likes me. But after seeing her following me in the halls with a weird hunched over expression while growling or something, her drawing my head on an MLP character for xmas...(when I told that to my dad his attitude changed from "aw you have an admirer" to "that bitch is crazy") and then drawing my face...while laughing and smiling maniacally.... Well im more creeped out than I am attracted. Like tucker said "don't stick yer dick in crazy"
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And yet another game of psychological chess has been played out. OP hath one this time but remember when the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box.
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Huh well this is making more sense, well like I said...heck I dunno she sounds like a good friend, maybe just try and have fun (not in anything sinister, just in general) it doesn't need to be serious right now. Things may develop and you may actually want to. But it aint easy q.q But in personal experiences. ..it does fill the void. * sips tea *
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If she has some loose ends that she doesn't want to tie up or chooses not to tie up for whatever reason, sometimes its the right choice. You can still be awesome friends though.
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Edited by Bantwise Gamgee: 12/22/2014 11:00:07 PMAye m80. Aye. [spoiler]m80[/spoiler] Ok here it is. I've had one girlfriend, and it wasn't bad. We've been done for 2.5 years now, and recently I've noticed she's got the hawts for Samwise. She had a boyfriend, but after I told her I want to get to know each other better together (as friends) again, she dumped the guy. I'm prepared to run, but who knows, maybe I can get I good relationship going again.
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Well, you really can't say that for sure until you actually date her. I honestly don't think you have to become a couple, but a simple date wouldn't kill your friendship.
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Maybe it's your destiny to tear down her walls and mend her cracked heart.
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Girl: I love you. Me: Thanks. [spoiler]master of romance[/spoiler]
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That's a very interesting story. Good luck
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So you rejected a girl. Well done.
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It seems like you're making this sound more noble than it is.... She's a basket full of crazy and doesn't have the most rockin' bod... You can do better so why not do better?
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... I have actually done this (Multiple times to girls I think are great but am not physically attracted to).
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If you don't truly want it, don't do it. It's that simple. Um, as for personal experience... I friend-zoned some chick who dumped my brother so she could try to date me.