We at Bungie have been combing the databases in order to make Destiny a more enjoyable place for all Guardians of any class or play style (coughs). We are proud to present our latest patch accompanying the Dark Below expansion!
- Vanguard playlists now only give rewards daily. It was not our intention for you to farm strikes constantly to eventually get better gear.
- Cryptarch has been receiving too many death threats and has taken a leave of absence to the reef (find out what happens in expansion pass 3).
- Deej has been promoted to CEO of all things Bungie.
- After careful consideration, we have decided that there will be no raid drops at all in Crota's End until we are sure no "cheesing" methods exist. It is totally your fault and not ours.
- Hard Mode of the next raid will utilize friendly fire mechanics. It was not our intention for players to breeze through hard raids.
- The Crucible has been entirely reworked. Instead of kills, would be kills now grants shaxxmendations, that can be redeemed for exotic engrams that will be able to be used when the Cryptarch returns from his self imposed exile.
- In order to keep players from exploiting shaxxmendations, vault space has been reduced by 95%.
- We have finally pinpointed every player who ever used "infinite self revives" in play, and after careful consideration, we at Bungie have decided to ban them.
- Any banned account can pay a cheater tax of $5 to get their account restored.
- Legendary engram chance has a 0.1% increased chance of an exotic, but is now twice as rare.
- Atheons Epilogue now fires twice as fast but for half damage.
- Gjallarhorn's "Wolfpack" has been replaced with "Flared Magwell."
- Icebreaker no longer has infinite ammo. That was glitch. It was never intended for you to be able to regen ammo when the weapon is not currently equipped. Due to our coding incompetence, we have decided to remove the feature altogether.
- The Dark Below expansion has been delayed to February 30th, 2015. Thank you for your patience.
[i]I am in no way shape or form affiliated with Bungie, and this is a joke. Do not take any of this seriously.[/i]
-
Bump. I spent mind energy on this. Don't let it get lost in the dark corners of text.