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Edited by Khârn the Betrayer:
11/26/2014 4:06:06 AM
206
I am so pissed, this needs to be done now:
Randal "The Animal" Vandal promoted to the Kell of Terror:
This Fallen has earned the respect of Guardians worldwide, he has stomped out more light than Crota himself and has soaked more bullets than Aksor.
Randal holds his cave down like nobody else has and in my immeasurable opinion, earned the right to be a Kell.
As the unifying voice of public and popular opinion, I request... Nay, demand! That Randal is immediately promoted and is granted the title: Terror of Old Russia.
He must extend his reach and area of appearance, no, not as an event but as a roaming raid boss who darkens the skies above the area he enters in. Our ghosts must yell at us to run, for terror has arrived and our dear Kell, Randal "The Animal" Vandal: Terror of Old Russia, must show no mercy!
He should do full laps around the cosmodrome with an entourage of Vandals riding Pikes.
He must be twice as tough as a Kell on Randal's special steroid serum and if need be, ride a walker as a mount!
Bungie, this is no longer a request, this is your next patch. Do not let your legion of fans down, give us hell, give us the Kell, Randal.
Guardians, unite behind this sole cause and push for it! Forget about your pvp or story woes, forget about your weapon buffs, forget about it and help give Randal the station he deserves.
Ps. The only reward we should get from him is a grimoire card of legendary importance.
Also, it's perfectly acceptable to use any existing Kell model and make him larger in scale with a smaller crit zone, not that it mattered, Randal took more shots to the face than most people's m... That's probably a good point to stop at.
Edit:
Instead of the sky going dark when he strolls down his block, it should turn blood red, cause it's the end for us all!
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Another hit by Randal, he's so original! Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a fallen of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's ghost and light And I was 'round when Traveler Had its moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that speaker Washed his hands and sealed his fate Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game I stuck around old Russia When I saw it was a time for a change Killed the guardians and ghosts Ikora Rey screamed in vain I rode a tank Held a general's rank When the Ketches raged And the bodies stank Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name, oh yeah Ah, what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game, oh yeah I watched with glee While your guardians and ghosts Fought for ten decades For the god they made I shouted out, "Who killed the light?" When after all It was me Let me please introduce myself I'm a Kell of wealth and taste And I laid traps for The Hive Who get killed before they reached sky watch Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah But what's confusing you Is just the nature of my game Just as every Greg is a criminal And all the darkness lights As heads is tails Just call me Randal Cause I'm in need of some restraint So if you meet me Have some courtesy Have some sympathy, and some taste Use all your well-learned politesse Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name, um yeah But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down Woo, who Oh yeah, get on down Oh yeah Oh yeah! Tell me baby, what's my name Tell me honey, can ya guess my name Tell me baby, what's my name I tell you one time, you're to blame Ooo, who Ooo, who Ooo, who Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Oh, yeah What's me name Tell me, baby, what's my name Tell me, sweetie, what's my name Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Ooo, who, who Oh, yeah
