My fellow Americans, the time has come for us to make an important choice. Should we have fart control, which would require every man, child, and woman to shove a silencer up the place where the sun don't shine, and to get farting permits as babies. Or are you with fart rights, in which we can fart where ever, when ever, and however we want. Please, every minute you waste is 3,000,000,000 more farts blamed on animals.
Think of the children!
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But if Farts get silencers then we would never know what's going to hit us