You ever look at an inanimate object, an animal, or even food, and just wonder, "What if they could talk?"
Me neither. But let's do it anyways. If objects, animals, (or food) could speak, what would you want it to be, and why?
I'd choose my iPod. I wonder if it hates my music.
[spoiler]I'm out of ideas here.[/spoiler]
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My walls, so they could be my home security. "What'd he look like, Wall?" "He was white, large build, had a goatee... Uhh... I'm pretty sure he had like three assault rifles. Oh, and he found your porno mag collection, it's gone." "SHIT. Gotta track that guy down, thanks wall!"