You ever look at an inanimate object, an animal, or even food, and just wonder, "What if they could talk?"
Me neither. But let's do it anyways. If objects, animals, (or food) could speak, what would you want it to be, and why?
I'd choose my iPod. I wonder if it hates my music.
[spoiler]I'm out of ideas here.[/spoiler]
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That's Disney's job
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Animals can talk, just not in your language. I wish my Destiny disc could talk so it could explain why it sucks.
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Well, I've always assumed my toaster was racist.
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I bet all toilets do is talk shit.
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My computer Me:let's see what's on the internets Computer:hehehe...what are you doing? Me:noth- computer:waht clas u gonna pleh?
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Edited by Kekyoin's Underwater Donut: 11/6/2014 10:42:55 AMThis body pillow. [spoiler]It'd say tsundere things to me and be my waifu. Then we'd have a domestic dispute and we'd have no way of providing for our many half-pillow children.[/spoiler]
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Well that would suck too much noise
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I wish humans could communicate better so we would understand each other and live peacefully.
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All animals have evil thoughts and that's why everybody should eat meat.
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My walls, so they could be my home security. "What'd he look like, Wall?" "He was white, large build, had a goatee... Uhh... I'm pretty sure he had like three assault rifles. Oh, and he found your porno mag collection, it's gone." "SHIT. Gotta track that guy down, thanks wall!"
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I would like my computer to tell me how much of a social life I have
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I wish spiders could speak. I could communicate with them peacefully instead of squishing the little bastards.
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Specifically speaking on if the object had the some type of consciousness a human had, I would like to talk to my cellar door. All that time in the dark, he's bound to have thought of something interesting to say.
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[i]I wonder what my phone thinks of me always muting it :\[/i]
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I would like to know what my shoes have to say. My poor shoes go through a lot....
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My shower So yuh gonna bathe, bro er just.... Jacking off it is.[spoiler].[/spoiler]Hey man! Could probably use some shampoo! Oh...for lube? Whatever. [spoiler].[/spoiler]Hey man you look kinda drunk, need hel-now GOD DAMNITT, BOBBY THE TOILETS RIGHT THERE!
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Probably pets.
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My pets...so I can argue with someone else besides my wife in the house.
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My wang [spoiler]aka dick[/spoiler]
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My bed would tell me to stop thrashing it
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My headphones would always be there for me. [spoiler]or naw[/spoiler]
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My Computer "Quit watching porn all day and go outside you loser." [spoiler]I might have to murder my computer.[/spoiler]
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I'm sure my t-shirts are tired of being used as a nut rag. Ba dum tss.
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My bird speaks He asks what I'm doing and if I want to kiss him, among other things.
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My dog Then I'd wonder if she actually liked me. Aw I just made myself sad :(
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My toilet, I wonder if it's tired of my sh*t [spoiler]badum ts[/spoiler]