> *eats a bag of chips in like 40 minutes*
> I'm totally an endurance eater.
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Edited by KiseDaddy: 1/5/2015 1:07:01 PMFriend#1:"What is bacon?" Friend#2:"what is " Lord of the Rings?" Friend#3:"who the -blam!- are the other two people?"
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"dude.. i think someones following us" and then i flash my friends.
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"People wouldn't need wheelchairs if they just stopped being lazy and walked."
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Friend: I hate change (money). *throws it into the field. Me: *chases after it*
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'We don't have to have a French Title!' >is in french class >french teacher expects everything in french >fml
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"Well who cares, what's a dollar anyways?" "Four quarters?"
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Edited by White Spider: 11/5/2014 6:46:04 AMDuring Spanish class, instead of writing "cuatro" on the paper, my friend freaking wrote "four" on the paper.
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Everyone was saying -blam!- the Black Hawks which is really Pluck but everyone is dedicated to take our rival team down even though we get our asses kicked by them in football every year but it's still a crap ton of fun.
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"If molecules are indestructible, why don't we just make everything out of molecules? " I didn't know whether to cry or laugh
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Edited by Lime: 11/3/2014 5:46:29 PMThe only stupid things my friends say are jokes. I have good friends. Edit: OH SHIT BUT I REMEMBER A STORY FROM MY FRESHMEN YEAR "I think I figured out why [computer thing] isn't working... my winrar license expired." I was on Skype with a bunch of people and we all laughed at him.
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My friend said to a cop you dont looks so good buddy You want some stuff to make the pain go away He reached in his pocket At the same time the cop went for his hand cuffs Then my friend handed him Advil
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"The files are inside the computer."
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Oh I almost forgot "What is the water stuff that comes out of a grill during sex?" Teacher:it's kind of the same thing but it isint water "Would you be able to consume it" We were staring at this kid in silent disbelief for the rest of the class
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I have a very bias friend who dislikes X because of Y. In this case he didn't like destiny because he thought the warlock super looked like something from mass effect, claiming it just ripped off mass effect. Which is a very weird thing to dislike something over, He should have given it a chance and decided for himself, instead he solely based it off the loose chance something looked like something else. That was really stupid
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"Why do I have to reload a harpoon gun? Like why can't it have more than one harpoon in it so I can shoot like 3 harpoons?" Faith in humanity has been lost.
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When they wrongly refer to a magazine as a clip
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"I think I'm going to buy the new cod" Sigh... No. Just. No.
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"I finally got an hdmi for my 360 but it didn't fit because the component cables are right next to it and their too big, so I had to sand down the component cables so they could both fit."
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I had a friend he says Look theres a open window right there it must be narnia I wanna see chewable cuneiform tablets that taste like skittles and rainbow Total mindfck
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Edited by PerilousLoki: 11/6/2014 3:20:15 AMMinioné, minioné all day long. He just sits next to me whispering minioné into my friggin ear. It supposed to be minion but with diversity but the way you say it is like a retarded duck trying to quack [EDIT] If you tell him to stop he'll do it faster by 0.50 seconds and do it constantly.
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I mean, there are so many gems it's hard for me to think of one.
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"Hítler got blown up" "The Nãzis won WWll" I shit you not, sirs.
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Once I was on a bus with my friend and we stopped at a pedestrian crossing, a man wearing a Russian hat walks past and my friend causally shouts, hey, look at this tw-t!
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"She's kind of hot, but I'm gonna wait for her to ask me out because I don't want to seem into her."
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"Show him your penis. I wanna see it. It's not gay at all it's huge. (Rambling about dick)." heard in the bathroom.
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Me and my friends were talking about the holocaust and one guy was like "meh the holocaust wasn't that bad" we all looked at him funny and then he goes " oh I meant the other holocaust" [spoiler]i just won this thread[/spoiler]