Dear Deej,
I wrote to you but you're not bothering.
I left my name,
My gamer tag,
And my main e-mail at the bottom.
I sent two letter this past Autumn,
You must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem on the internet or something
Sometimes I misspell e-mails too,
Sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways...
-blam!- it, What been up? I like that the VoG is harder.
Just beat it, with my wife, my son and my daughter.
Aetheon didn't stand a chance, total slaughter.
Oh I got a dog too, guess what I'm gonna call her.
I named her Bungie.
I read about the bad reviews and I'm sorry
At least your not going under like, Atari
And I know you probably hear this everyday
But I'm your biggest fan
My room is a Bungie shrine man
I don't believe DLC is a scam
Anyways I hope you get this man
I love all your work
This is Erk!
My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all.
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all.
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
Put your game on my facebook wall
It reminds, that the game's not so bad, it'snot so bad at all.
Dear Deej,
You still ain't responded or wrote,
I hope you have a chance,
I ain't mad,
I just think it's -blam!-ed up you don't answer fans
If you didn't want to talk to me outside the studio
You didn't have to.
But you could have signed cover art for Matthew
That's my little brother man
He's only 12 years old.
We waited in the blistering cold
For four hours and you just said no.
That's pretty shitty man
Bungie's like his -blam!-ing idol
He want to make game just like you
He loves you more then I do.
I ain't mad though,
I just don't like to being lied to.
I remember waiting in New York for Halo 2
You said I could game with you, you never did
I'm feeling blue
It's ok though, the games help me drift away
So when I have a shitty day
Pop in Destiny and press play
'Cause I really don't got shit else
So that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a Bungie tattoo across my chest
Sometimes you have to cut content, it doesn't make the squeeze
But this time it killed us, brought us to our knees
As my pocket bleeds, why don't you hear our pleads?
I'm begging you please, fix this -blam!-ing game,
Before you release the DLC's!!
So you have to respond back
Make some sort of contact
This whole situation is just whack
Hit me back, I know your at work Your biggest fan,
- Erk
My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all.
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all.
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
Put your game on my facebook wall
It reminds, that the game's not so bad, it'snot so bad at all.
Dear Mister
I'm too good to address or write my fans
This'll be the last time I'll ever write your ass,
It's been six weeks and still no word?
I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters,
I wrote everything in it perfect.
This game was awesome
But all you've done is -blam!-ing nerf it.
Things still broke, oh wait,
Look a pumpkin head outfit.
How about you fix that monkey,
Aren't updates suppose to make the game less clunky?
Better yet how 'bout you contain that -blam!-ing zoo
Having second thoughts about getting Destiny 2
What am I'm suppose to do,
Put my trust back into you?
I don' think so, this isn't fair
You proved you no longer care,
I'm done forever, Can't wait for Advanced Warfare
Least while I'm there, I can hear what people have to share.
We'll talk about how Destiny became this shitty nightmare.
Well gotta go, not much time to spare,
I'm about to merk
Your ex biggest fan -Erk
My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all.
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all.
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
Put your game on my facebook wall
It reminds, that the game's not so bad, it'snot so bad at all.
English
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lol u dont evn hav destinie
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u wot m8? ur nutin bot a ch33ky skrub an i was jst telin h1m informutiv inf0 so shut teh fock up fgt befor u g3t sp00ked by spooky skeletuns
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Someone in this thread is either a 7 year old and can't spell to save their life. -blam!-ing idiots need to put down games and pick up books..
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[quote]Cared enough to reply dick lips[/quote] I cared enough to read this reply and died laughing
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I hope the front room is cleared because shit just got real.
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That was awesome! Well done!
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Dear Erk, I'm sorry, Just found all your letters in the mail sack You said you beat the vault of glass with your whole family? Wow, we all are flattered you would call your new dog that and here's some signed concept art for your brother, plus a code for a legendary engram. Im sorry that we didn't play Halo 2, I had a connection issue Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you But what's this 'bout fake DLC's and cutting content too? I dont have the time to type why I don't have time to you. We're fixing issues Erk ,like stopping all the "grinding", the Cryptarchs decrypting, and we still allow most cheesing. And what's this about us making your pockets bleed? Why didnt you buy the season pass to avoid the extra fees? Since you like the pumpkins then wait for Christmas Trees! And Destiny 2? Think in terms of 3! I hope you read this letter, I hope you give us a little more time before you get too upset and commit an Advanced WarCrime Just relax a bit, I'm glad you're a dedicated fan Don't get too mad. Try to understand that Bungie doesn't want you banned Please don't do something crazy like using the disc as a coaster. I heard some guy even put it in his toaster. In the meantime while you wait, why don't you open some more gates. Devout Guardian be a sherpa and help out your fellow mates. Here at Bungie we think fans like you are best We could tell you all our plans and honor all requests But times up and I gotta get to work. Just let the light guide you Erk
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Blamming cool
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Wow, so good!! Perfect reply
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Hahahahaha perfect
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Edited by Dreadlocked R1: 10/31/2014 5:51:20 PMAnother awesome poem . Well done sir for the rewrite.
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Simply put - Epic!!
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WOW!! Thank you everyone for all the comments and likes!!
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This is the best thing I've read on here!! Great job man!! I'll see you on advanced warfare ;)
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[quote]This is the best thing I've read on here!! Great job man!! I'll see you on advanced warfare ;)[/quote]that sad part is, you will probably spend 20 dollars on there when the dlc came out for 4 multiplayer maps but 20 for 1 raid 3 missions new guns and 1-2 strikes isn't enough?
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Very clever
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hahahaha man I love when peope do these. That song is pretty sick though.
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Lol 😂 to funny
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BUMP!
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Great stuff, really shows up how the whiny 'fans' are borderline psychos like Stan :)
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So you just changed some words from the song Stan by Eminem. It still was not bad though.
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Great observation Sherlock ;)
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Thanks dood :D
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Simply the best thing I've ever seen on the internet in my life