You just graduated college and went out to celebrate with your friends and family to celebrate. Since you just got out of college, you have less money than a Haitian and go to a Taco Bell buffet since you can't afford a rat's ass. Hours later you body decides you just ate 8 metric tons of poison and bran. You run to the toilet feeling your anus about to burst and sit down on it, a loud wet noise erupts from your behind as if it were a giant blowing its nose. After the disaster had ended, you look into the bowl to see he carnage; you see the object you thought of, you have pooped it out. How painful was the poop?
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...my phone...that's gonna hurt