The scarcity of upgrade materials such as Ascendant Shards and Ascendant Energy has long been a frustration of the City's defenders, but in recent days many have found a possible outlet for their frustrations - drugs.
Guardians have taken to using their overabundance of weapon parts to construct drug paraphernalia, such as needles and bongs. They then feed what little Ascendant Shards or Energy they have into the devices to get wasted. Weapon parts are not the only way to use the substances, however.
"I got the Thorn when I completed my first Exotic bounty," a guardian by the name of Deathwatch said. "I don't use hand cannons, so when I completed the bounty all I got was an Exotic paperweight. I'm glad I did it now though; it turns out the Thorn makes a fantastic pipe!" He advised guardians to make sure the cannon is not loaded before using it for this purpose.
The popularity of the new drugs is illustrated by the reopening of the Tower Hanger Night Club, located underneath the Future War Cult's office. "In the last few days the locale has hosted some of some of the wildest raves since the Golden Age," The Cryptarch confirmed.
Arach Jalaal, The Dead Orbit faction representative based up the stairs from the club, says that the interest in drugs is a symptom of a bigger problem. "Guardians can feel the hopelessness of the struggle on Earth," he said. "Getting high offers them a temporary escape. Dead Orbit can offer humanity a permanent one. Until they can accept that, I'm happy to hot box it up right here."
Far from being a small "hot box," the fumes from the raves have occasionally intoxicated people and robots throughout the entire Tower. A few frames appear to have been permanently damaged from the second-hand smoke and can now do nothing but endlessly sweep the same spot. Some claim that the raves have nothing to do with it, accusing Xûr of gathering parts from the frames to resale as Sparrow upgrades.
Regardless of whether or not these accusations are true, Xûr is indisputably benefiting from peoples' interest in drugs. On Saturday he began selling T-shirts reading "Shards are the new crack." Most people didn't see them though: they were so popular he could not keep them in stock. He has promised to resupply in time for his next shift.
The Speaker has been characteristically silent on the issue despite numerous complaints and attempts to contact him. This is unsurprising to many Guardians. "There's a reason he deals almost exclusively in Motes of Light," a Guardian named Anarchic Wolf said. "That stuff messes you up!"
Commander Zavala, the Titan Vanguard, takes these matters very seriously. "It is the duty of all Guardians to be able to defend humanity to the best of their ability. How can they do that if they're all jacked up on Ascendant Shards? How can they justify using those precious resources in such a selfish and wasteful manner? And how can we really expect anything less than that if their leader is doing it too?"
Zavala is leading an investigation based on accusations of the Speaker's involvement in the recent raves, but not all of the Vanguard are as concerned as Zavala is.
"I remember the first time I did Blooms," Ikora Rey said, referring to Spirit Blooms. "I saw some Fallen lounging around some of the glowing plants and thought I'd go see what they were up to. Strangely enough, they didn't shoot, so neither did I. To my surprise, they motioned for me to join them, and one of them showed me how to snort the stuff. We had a great time singing and dancing and milking their Servitor. Then one thing led to another and... well, let's just say I learned a lot about our enemy's anatomy that night. Did you know they have four - well, never mind."
Rey continued, adding that the experience showed her there may be paths to peace other than endlessly shooting the aliens in the head or the stomach. She also says that It makes sense for Guardians to unwind by getting high.
"I can't blame the Speaker if he's selling his little crafts for Motes of Light to smoke. As long as he keeps giving his vaguely inspiring public speeches when people finish the Black Garden, I'm happy."
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Oh my god ikora, looooool