The scarcity of upgrade materials such as Ascendant Shards and Ascendant Energy has long been a frustration of the City's defenders, but in recent days many have found a possible outlet for their frustrations - drugs.
Guardians have taken to using their overabundance of weapon parts to construct drug paraphernalia, such as needles and bongs. They then feed what little Ascendant Shards or Energy they have into the devices to get wasted. Weapon parts are not the only way to use the substances, however.
"I got the Thorn when I completed my first Exotic bounty," a guardian by the name of Deathwatch said. "I don't use hand cannons, so when I completed the bounty all I got was an Exotic paperweight. I'm glad I did it now though; it turns out the Thorn makes a fantastic pipe!" He advised guardians to make sure the cannon is not loaded before using it for this purpose.
The popularity of the new drugs is illustrated by the reopening of the Tower Hanger Night Club, located underneath the Future War Cult's office. "In the last few days the locale has hosted some of some of the wildest raves since the Golden Age," The Cryptarch confirmed.
Arach Jalaal, The Dead Orbit faction representative based up the stairs from the club, says that the interest in drugs is a symptom of a bigger problem. "Guardians can feel the hopelessness of the struggle on Earth," he said. "Getting high offers them a temporary escape. Dead Orbit can offer humanity a permanent one. Until they can accept that, I'm happy to hot box it up right here."
Far from being a small "hot box," the fumes from the raves have occasionally intoxicated people and robots throughout the entire Tower. A few frames appear to have been permanently damaged from the second-hand smoke and can now do nothing but endlessly sweep the same spot. Some claim that the raves have nothing to do with it, accusing Xûr of gathering parts from the frames to resale as Sparrow upgrades.
Regardless of whether or not these accusations are true, Xûr is indisputably benefiting from peoples' interest in drugs. On Saturday he began selling T-shirts reading "Shards are the new crack." Most people didn't see them though: they were so popular he could not keep them in stock. He has promised to resupply in time for his next shift.
The Speaker has been characteristically silent on the issue despite numerous complaints and attempts to contact him. This is unsurprising to many Guardians. "There's a reason he deals almost exclusively in Motes of Light," a Guardian named Anarchic Wolf said. "That stuff messes you up!"
Commander Zavala, the Titan Vanguard, takes these matters very seriously. "It is the duty of all Guardians to be able to defend humanity to the best of their ability. How can they do that if they're all jacked up on Ascendant Shards? How can they justify using those precious resources in such a selfish and wasteful manner? And how can we really expect anything less than that if their leader is doing it too?"
Zavala is leading an investigation based on accusations of the Speaker's involvement in the recent raves, but not all of the Vanguard are as concerned as Zavala is.
"I remember the first time I did Blooms," Ikora Rey said, referring to Spirit Blooms. "I saw some Fallen lounging around some of the glowing plants and thought I'd go see what they were up to. Strangely enough, they didn't shoot, so neither did I. To my surprise, they motioned for me to join them, and one of them showed me how to snort the stuff. We had a great time singing and dancing and milking their Servitor. Then one thing led to another and... well, let's just say I learned a lot about our enemy's anatomy that night. Did you know they have four - well, never mind."
Rey continued, adding that the experience showed her there may be paths to peace other than endlessly shooting the aliens in the head or the stomach. She also says that It makes sense for Guardians to unwind by getting high.
"I can't blame the Speaker if he's selling his little crafts for Motes of Light to smoke. As long as he keeps giving his vaguely inspiring public speeches when people finish the Black Garden, I'm happy."
Tune in to #SamboBaggins91 and #TowerNews for more of the latest developments in and around the last city on Earth.
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I remember I had smoked some ascendant energies mixed in with some spirit blooms from a Copperhead Mk. 24 with Cayde-6 and some other Exos. I ended up stumbling into the nightclub and first met the Exo Stranger. Let's just say it was a [i]wiiiiiilld[/i] night...
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I heard that there's a DJ in hangar nightclub that keeps playing a song called; Bohemian LastCity
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Edited by I--am--Sloth: 10/14/2014 10:29:51 AMThe Cryptarch needs replaced in his role as nightclub doorman - I've lost count of the amount of times I've arrived with VIP tickets in hand, only to be told they are worthless, and I have to queue with everyone else. Also, the resident DJ needs to add some variety into his playlist. One can only take so many repeat listens of "Where's Your Dreg At" by Basement Shaxx.
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Where's the best place to light one up?!
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I KNEW IT! XUR IS THE CRACK-DEALER OF DESTINY!
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Woah that guy was right about *cough* Thorn! *Splutter*
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Hey uh... *Scratches neck* Does anybody, um... *Twitches face* Got any, um... *Scratches leg* Of that stuff... *Twitches arm* The stuff that... *Cough* Makes you fly? *Shivers*
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As long as he keeps giving his vaguely inspiring public speeches when people finish the Black Garden, I'm happy." So defeating the heart in the black garden, and going to the black garden...that all actually happened?
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Oh my god ikora, looooool
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Haha, great post, very funny. I like the reference, "did you know they have four, oh, never mind."
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club tower XD
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This screams "I'm a nerd beyond all doubt."
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I got more of an in-depth storyline out of this than, the game. and I laughed too.. thanx
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What do you think the glimmer worth of 40 ascendant shards is, i wanted to try that thorn pipe...
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This news broadcast was brought to you by EXO-harmony the best robot dating site this side of Venus
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Hey whats up! Recruiting for my new clan, mainly on the xbox 360 but all others are welcome. If interested you can join here - http://www.bungie.net/en/Clan/Detail/374769 Then click "Set as Xbox Clan" and it will appear in game. Also need a few more for a core raid team to run VOG weekly, must be at least level 27. No prior experienced required just be able to listen and no die a lot. Happy Hunting!
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My mate sent me a message last night when the xbox friends list was down and we couldnt get a game, he only needed to do the raid boss before refresh; [i]"Destiny is like chasing the Dragon, only without the high"[/i] Quote of the year haha
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Fantastic!
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Well it is rumored that the traveler is actually a giant ball of cocaine
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Edited by hellcat420: 10/14/2014 2:12:39 AMi dont always smoke reefer, but when i do, i use a bong fashoned from an icebreaker.
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I must have met the fallen on a come down or a hangover then... I waved to them and they just stuck a knife in my face :<
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I think we should go on a world wide strike everyone stop playing until they do somthing right pass it on and share it STRIKE AGAINST DESTINY!!!!
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OMG XD this is the best one yet
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Guardians, the raves I hold at my club "The Golden Titty" are NOT the problem. We're just a neighborhood bar to let loose at. We don't sell or condone the use of drugs. However, what happens in the "champaign room", stays in the "champaign room". Btw, starting Tuesday its "bring a guardian, get a free dance" night. Amateur night is Wednesday....winner gets an exotic bounty that'll take at least two weeks to decode. Carry on guardians!
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Stick that spirit bloom in your Thorn pipe!
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Edited by EverythingStew: 10/16/2014 7:34:12 PMThis just in, Hadronic essence is currently being snorted by all warlocks consumed by the conflicting influence of the darkness