My fellow guardians, my name is ColdAtrophy. You can call me Cold. I am here tonight, on what will surely be remembered as an historic occasion, to announce my campaign for Commander-in-Chief of all Armed Forces of the magnificent Last City.
Are you tired of the Cryptarch taking your rightfuly earned engrams and giving you junk? Are you tired of people quitting out of Crucible matches? Are you tired of the lack of leadership from the Tower? Are you tired of the Gunsmith selling nothing worth your glimmer? Are you sick of the same 4 shaders from Eva Lavonte? Are you ready to elect a new leader, a strong leader, one who will lead us all to victory and piles of worthy loot? Are you tired of supporting the Death-Star-in-a-coma? I promise to put an end to all of the injustices heaped upon you Guardians by NPCs who care not for your welfare or happiness, but for your hard earned monies.
Great battles lie ahead. I call upon all who love freedom to stand with me. Keep your faith staunch - our arms are resolute - together we shall achieve victory. The right of a people to decide their own destiny, to make their way in freedom, is not to be measured by the yardstick of class or degree of social interaction. It is an inalienable right. You have lost too much, but you have not lost everything. And you have certainly not lost our Last City, for I will stand with you for as many tomorrows as it takes to gain permanent victory over the Darkness.
Vote for me, Commander Cold on November 4th. Tell me the changes you want to see in the comments below.
EDIT: Here is the forum post that started this: http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/72014309/0/0
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In sickness and in health, this stalwart defender of light shall forever stand by your side. My fist is yours.