The recoil is something you will have to fix, since we hunters depend on precision. A new weapon with higher stability or weapon upgrades for that should do the trick. Also, we Gunslingers get an ability which increases your weapon stability temporarily whenever you get a kill, so that should help. As for your wife taking more hits, thats because titans have higher base stat of Armor :). We Hunters only get agility, which isn't so bad since you can just leap away from someone shooting at you.