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9/22/2014 2:30:11 PM
21
Sidewalk, a Vapor story.
So, I've noticed what Fartmonkey's been doing recently with his "gurgle tales" and this Is pretty much the same thing.
Short stories that I have written, put on the Flood for all to see. Here we go!
His leather boots made a satisfying "squish" as he walked along the sidewalk. He looked up and around, cars who's occupants were in a hurry of their own, didn't care for the mysterious stranger walking along the sidewalk. The stranger kept walking, he fumbled around in his warm jacket pockets for the 9.mm surprise inside. He slowly removed the weapon and made sure it was loaded, it was. Today would be the day when he got revenge on the man who ruined him.
Eventually, he came in sight of the man. A politician in front of a crowd, making promises he can't, or never will keep. The stranger wades through the large stammering excitement that the crowd was emanating. Some people noticed the stranger but ignored him, thinking his presence unimportant.
The moment of truth had arrived, the stranger now stood at the front of the crowd. He raised the pistol, some people falling silent as they realized what was now inevitable. The politician looked down, a look of horror and disgust on his face.
Several seconds later, a loud "bang" rang out through the town.
Thanks for reading! And please tell me what you thought!
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I thought it was pretty good. I know these things are just short little segments of things but. Just as some feed back (because I always love feedback) I think it would be more effective if you found out what exactly he was doing the moment he pulled out the gun. Just a thought
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1 Reply*pans to the politician whos holding his own pistol which is now smoking from the barrel*
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2 RepliesI'm not sure who to be rooting for in this situation.
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1 ReplyIt was good writing, I liked it.
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6 Replies'Twas a good read.
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3 RepliesOooh.....awesome. :3
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Bump for Bio
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2 RepliesLee-ooovved it! It was cool how the bang "rang out through the town" -- kind of a dawn for change in the city's leadership. Well, that's how I saw it. <3
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2 Replies"10/10 would read again" -IGN [spoiler]it was really good[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesAbsolutely splendid. Now i will perform a rain dance just for this topic. *rain dancing intensifies* [spoiler]i swear this is either gonna get old fast or itll catch on.... I hope it catches on....[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyI thought of Obama :D
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3 RepliesIt has a great flow to it. everything was in a great order. I liked it. [spoiler]i was gunna ironically say "Go kill yourself.." But I guess I don't have [i]that[/i] big of a heart.[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesNice! I liked it and thought it was well written.
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6 RepliesWell written! Cool story man!
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2 RepliesOooo are we all sharing short stories today? Perhaps I shall create one too after school.. Very well written btw
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4 Replieswell then... I guess it was nice... a littler more description would help
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3 RepliesEdited by Fartmonkey: 9/22/2014 2:50:46 PMI inspired something... Holy shit Don't have enough time to read all of it cause I'm in school will read later
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5 RepliesNoice! :D
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Yeah I don't think so. Bump
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1 ReplyDamn, didn't see you as the writer type of person. 10/10
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Ignore this comment [spoiler]Damn phone[/spoiler]
