Today hive news reported the sad and disturbing news that Aksor the priest had been broken out of prison only to then be murdered. Aksor who is known throughout the galaxy for charity work such as glimmer for kids and the fallen fallen was in jail for parking offences.
The guardians who killed him alleged that when they opened the cell door he came out with a rocket launcher. Church of the fallen leader the deli leema had this to say "do they think we're stupid? Firstly Aksor was a kind and compassionate man and secondly what idiot would be in a jail cell with a rocket launcher and not use it to free themselves". The speaker said he would launch an urgent investigation. #justiceforaksor has since been trending galaxy wide.
This comes as we also found out the same guardians were found in an s and m dungeon on the moon looking for "special coins". We are still trying to establish if this is a euthanism.
Also coming up the trial of the cryptarch nicknamed "the glimmer man" begins with new cryptarch roger helldel sworn in and tonight's debate on the crucible "are fusion guns bad or are the people complaining noobs?" More on this later.
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Hive News needs more videos. #lol
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Great ,next up cover PETH(People for the ethical treatment of the hive) where people are cave farming and PETH is protesting by standing in front of the cave , some guy made a post on this hope you can find it I found it fun.
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BRAKEING NEWS: A guardian speaks out and post his confession on popular social media here's what he said. "In my defense my gun was acting up all day and a misfire occurred during my rescue attempt and I was left with one option: to defend myself. I think the priest was beyond reason for being locked up for so long. I just hope you all remember him as the fallen he once was and not the monster he became. " However many are skeptical of this confession and a further investigation is taking place, we will update if we learn anything new.
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NEWS JUST IN: Recent autopsy reports state that Aksor was killed by 27,500 rounds of ammunition as well as 200 rocket hits to his body over a 45 minute period. Critics of the Guardians have described this attack as "excessive". Reports also indicate that 400 Fallen military staff were also killed during the incident, but investigators have been quoted as saying that "those guys don't matter, they don't even have names".
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THIS JUST IN: Lord Thaladin has been arrested for sexually assaulting seventeen awoken women simultaneously. He claims he was high on helium fragments, but drug tests say otherwise.
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Please more of this lol!
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What is a euthanism? Did you get euphemism and euthenasia confused?
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you should make a spoof news group or something,
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Justice!? He deserved to die, fallen trash! His glimmer was earned illegally! I have proof he was working with the Cryptarch! Message me for details, Br4nd3n..
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Sorry about the dungeon man... you know us Germans...
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Lol nice
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Breaking news: GlassVaultDating.com has become the least successful matchmaking website in the galaxy. Reports claim that Guardians cannot find anyone they want to spend time with, and as a result, have to go to other peoples parties and make their bodies available for anyone they can find.
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someone bring this to the attention of longface. this is how you do funny lol!
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We need a daily or weekly news report about stuff like this. Aksor was tough for a priest.
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Very interesting to read thank you for that.
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Does everyone get reincarnated after a murder? I've put a few in the priest but he keeps coming back. Maybe has something to do with t-baggin the cell before u release him.
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Hive news > Fox news
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"The Glimmer Man"
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The hive church shall cleanse all!
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It's about time the glimmer man is brought to justice.
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I freakin love all these galaxy news posts, that have been popping up. Good job man
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This is awesome. Good job man.
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We really do need a scrolling ticker in the Tower for these reports. xD
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NEW DEVELOPING STORY: It is a busy night tonight on earth as a report is coming in that the Postmaster in the Tower was given the wrong occupation upon being hired. An anonymous citizen of the tower says he found some of the Postmaster's paperwork lying around his shop one day and among one of which was his résumé. Under the "interests" section of the résumé he had written Cryptarch and Cryptography. Could this mean he was meant to be the Cryptarch of the Tower and there was a mix-up? If so, what does this mean for the current Cryptarch, Master Rahool? More news on this story as it develops.
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Lmao good stuff!
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You sir, win the internet. *claps*