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This author explains mine and most of our dilemmas with forming groups in Destiny. I have probably spent as much or more time using my tablet in the living room where I play as I have actually playing Destiny. All just to try in vain to coordinate with people that want to do end game content. The hardest boss in this game right now for me is Bungie's mindset for casual players.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/insertcoin/2014/08/03/the-solution-to-destinys-friends-only-raid-problem/
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I agree, 100%. It's silly. Now that I'm level 25, most of my time is spent on my laptop staring at my ship in space.