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originally posted in:Dads of Destiny UK PS4 I
9/4/2014 12:50:54 PM
14

give me your collective wisdom!

So, I'm 2 months out from being a dad for the first time and thought I'd be an idiot not to ask you guys to give me some nuggets of wisdom. We must have 100's of hours of collective parenting experience-I want to tap into that! If like to know Anything that u saw coming but weren't prepared for, anything that surprised you, anything that u wish you'd known or anything that u knew but didn't really believe. So hit me with your knowledge bombs!
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  • Baby shit does not stink(ish) expect marmite, pesto, whole grain then colemans. Until solids then holy mother of god. :0

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  • First bit of advice is enjoy the freedom of the last two months! ;) It'll be quite some time until things calm down. Biggest bit of advice is try not to get too freaked out or worried about every little thing the kid does or doesn't do. Surround yourself with family and friends who can help you out. Never be slow to ask for advice but remember that it's only advice and not immutable truth. Kids are all different and there's no handbook. Just do your best, be patient and above all enjoy it.

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  • Watch out if it's a boy when tacking off the nappy you might get a face fountain

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  • Thanks all-really appreciate all the advice. I'll try and take it all on board

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  • Congrats on the impending arrival! 1) Listen to all the advice you are offered, but remember that you both have to figure out what works for you / your baby and don't ever feel you need to do what someone else suggests! 2) Enjoy being a couple for the next few months - meals out / cinema / etc 3) If you are going to read anything I found the Baby Whisperer really helpful - very practical and flexible 4) Look forward to it - really is fantastic!

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  • Time and patience savour every moment and let nature run its path this is the time to enjoy coz when they start to walk and talk thats when you gonna need us

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  • Edited by batmanmot1: 9/5/2014 12:20:04 AM
    To sum it up again. 1. Infacol. 2. Calpol. 3. Baby Nurofin. Can be used with Calpol to get a temp down fast. Different one every 2 hours!!! 4. DR Brownes, if bottle feeding, for first 3-4 months and then Advent. Major help with winding. All 3 of mine!! 5. Teeting rings or even a steel tea spoon(YES)! 6. Relax, your going to be the best dad in the world!

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    • Something else that is a life saver is infacol and when the baby is older gripe water. Helps with gas.

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      • Run away now?

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      • Edited by frenchpoliser: 9/4/2014 7:44:47 PM
        Well it's been seven and a half years since my last one so I'm a bit rusty but here goes: 1) All babies/kids are different, so what works for one won't work for another. My eldest was the easiest baby ever. Fed well, slept well (even down the pub!) but the next was almost the exact opposite. We had real trouble geting the second to sleep through the night, then we moved him to his own room and he did it first night. Think the missus' snoring had been disturbing his sleep! 2) Whatever people have told you about the birth you still won't be prepared. My missus is a midwife so I knew a lot more about what might happen than other expectant fathers, but it was still a shock. And so on to point… 3) Your wife shouldn't eat too close to the final throes of labour. Believe me, she and you (and the midwives) will thank me for it. 4) If your wife/partner is overdue don't try any of the supposed methods for getting it started (especially castor oil), except for sex. It's unlikely to work but it may be the last you'll get for some time. 5) Don't go in for too much routine. Routines can be good but don't let them rule your life, you still need to be able to go out and have fun. My brother and his missus had such strict routines that they'd hardly ever go out in the summer as they always had to be home for meals at specific times. It's given them real headaches ever since and the youngest is now six! We kept things loose and now have pretty easy going kids. 6) Calpol is a lifesaver. Oh and a lesser known one is Ashton & Parsons teething powders.

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        • Edited by Kenshin razz: 9/4/2014 4:46:22 PM
          Calpol and whatever you do make sure you look after you and your missus sleep. If you think oh I'll just stay up and do x or watch y that's the night all hell breaks loose. Don't push your luck. If you can't function yourself you won't enjoy the experience and it will drain you. Watch out for growth spurts in new borns causes feeding frenzy. Can still remember my twins crying and feeding from about 9pm to 3 or 4am. No one told us this after they were born and it was a massive shock. This could be all rubbish though every child develops differently. Best of luck guardian all the best.

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        • As said, Calpol (and always make sure you're not running out) is a must. The only thing I'd add is before you leave the hospital, get the doctors to check for tongue tie (depending on the severity, it can greatly affect their feeding)! We'd never even thought of it, or been told about it, but our small person was diagnosed the day after we got home by the community midwife, and the waiting list for a snip is six weeks on the NHS round here! We went private, but it can cost a couple of hundred quid, so it's best to get it done before they leave the hospital if you can. Good luck!

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          • Welcome to the club bro. The advice you got was spot on. Its tought at the start but gets easier and the bonding with your child is quiet something. Calpol an absolute must bro. Good luck guardian

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            • Congratulations / Mwhahahaha!!! :) Thoughts that come to mind straight away. 1) There isn't one right way to do anything with kids. Not all health workers / midwives / doctors / parents / friends give the same answer to any of your questions. Sometimes all the answers are valid ones. So listen to the advice, and do what you feel is right / suits your new family. 2) Survive the first 8 weeks - don't fight it, give in to it. You have a new being in your life that you can't control. Just when you think you have a routine, your baby will progress, and it changes again. 3) Don't wish too hard for the next stage of his/her development to come along. Wanting them to sit up, or crawl, or walk or talk. You can wish the days away, and then before you know it, they are teenagers. The time goes faster than you think. 4) The best thing you can give your kids is your time. See point 3. 5) Calpol. There are thousands more, and you never stop learning, or beating yourself up about not being as good as you think you could be, or worrying about them. But those three things are what means you care. How's that for starters? Good Luck.... Steve.

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