Part 2: http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/67590142/0/0
Prologue:
The sniper was shrouded in darkness on the edge of a tall cliff, overlooking a party full of floodians. In front of him was his favored rifle, a one-of-a-kind. No one had ever seen "the sniper" before, or even knew who it was, but the entirety of the Flood was already scared of him. He had over 300 confirmed kills. But the flood was not scared enough...
Down at the party sat 5 gentlemen: Jphn, Onion Beetle, Blonic, Wolf BTM, and Gatsby. Jphn was already drunk and struggled to sit down with the rest. "WHAT'S UP BOYS" jphn said. "Go home, jphn, you're drunk!" squeaked Onion Beetle. Gatsby sat by, bothered by something. Wolf was eating a steak as he played a game of chess with Blonic. Both were very involved and concentrating."GATSBY YOU STINK!" shrieked Onion Beetle in the highest pitch ever. This angered the already mad Gatsby even more.
"GATSBY ANGRY!" he roared as he flipped the table in the middle of their little group. "No!" said Blonic and Wolf at once. Onion beetle drew a small onion and threw it at Gatsby's head. It missed and flew 15 more feet until it hit bastage in the head, who then started to cry due to the smelly onion. Steam rose from Gatsby's head from anger.
Up above, the sniper notices the commotion at the group. Perfect moment, he thought. He noticed the formation of Gatsby and Onion Beetle and decided to take his chances. His sniper could do this, without a doubt.
Gatsby stared at the beetle, who somehow was really really big and could stand up like a human. Gatsby was still taller. Jphn stayed out of it while Wolf and Blonic were crouched, franticly picking up the scattered chess pieces. Onion Beetle's only weapon to defend himself was to shriek at the top of his lungs and chunk onions at Gatsby. All of the onions missed, hitting others in the background: Agent Wolf, Rocketman, Shru, Casper, Plasma Eagle, Rampant, Luke, and 10 others before he ran out. The party was ruined now- everyone was either unconscious or crying. Bastage sat sucking his thumb. Gatsby chuckled this time. He said to beetle, "You're so pathetic! You're 5 feet away and you couldn't even hit me with all 18 onions you threw! HAHAHAA-!" Suddenly, without warning, a bullet flies through Gatsby's head, and straight through Onion Beetle's. Both dropped dead. Jphn shrieked in horror. He was the only one to notice they just died. Everyone was either crying or unconscious, and Blonic and Wolf were stilling gathering chess pieces.
The flash of the sniper rifle was so quick and sudden that it was very hard to distinguish the one feature that showed who the sniper was: The tin-foil hat sitting atop the sniper's head...
"Mission complete, boss,"
he said.
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<3 this is pretty humorous. Me gusta.