It is NEVER ok to hit your partner. I was in a abusive relationship a few years back that escalated quickly. He however punched me first but after the 5th 6th and 7th time i realized he wasnt gonna stop so i did defend myself. Like a previous poster had said, it just creates emotional and psychological trauma. Oh did i mention that he become violent after i found out he was cheating and smoking pot? I never accused him, but still got hit. Guilty conscience can drive a person do crazy things. Better get yourself under control. You sound insecure, immature and like you need to get out of the dating scene to do some self analyzing. In your defense, she has emotional issues as well if she is accusing you and you are TRULY innocent. Was she cheated on b4? Maybe you did or said something that triggered her past hurts? Verbal abuse(calling each other names, demeaning,etc) is a sure fire way to lower a girls self esteem. Maybe she feels crappy about herself cuz a jerk has told her she is replaceable? Now she takes it out on you?? Two broken people will never work...gotta fix yourself not fix the other person. Healthy relationships are built on healthy people. Gotta deal with heart rooted issues in life from past hurts from family, friends, partners and experiences in life. [spoiler]I'm an addictions counselor...not a therapist lol [/spoiler]