Post something that will make me lol really hard. I will decide the winner, then, I will change my username to whatever they'd like for the next week.
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Two soldiers have been lost in the desert for weeks, always aware of enemy attack. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving nearly-raw juicy bacon, all sorts of bacon. "Hey, look!" says the first man, "it's a bacon tree! We're saved!!" So he goes on ahead and runs up to the tree. As he gets to within five feet, he's gunned down in a hail of bullets. His friend drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying man. "What happened? Is it a trap?" With his last breath he calls out: "Ugh, run, it's not a bacon tree... ... [spoiler]It's a hAmbush"[/spoiler]