Once upon a generation, the fedora was once a king of headwear, scientifically designed by top minds. It was the apex of masculinity, the height of fashion, the culmination of coolness. And now? It has been co-opted by a million losers as the official headgear of the intellectually disabled.
There is no saving it. There can be no eradicating the taint that has been applied to it. The hat, and it's once great reputation are lost to the sands of time. Rather than dwell on the past, I urge us all to look forward into the future. To rename this hat, so that it more accuratley reflects it's contemporary usage.
I am starting a petition, to quite simply, chancge the name of the hat from "fedora" to "brony-burka".
Who amongst you would sign this wonderful document?
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There needs to be a law that to wear a fedora one must be clean shaven and dress in a professional manner
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Put this on whitehouse.gov, yo. I'm sure we can get an executive order.
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Edited by BaconShelf: 6/20/2014 2:23:02 PM"Ladies and...other Spartans, listen up! Your new workplace is a planet first discovered by humanity six months ago called Requiem. Some of the old hands here know what you're in for. The rest of you... You're due for an education. The eggheads upstairs want to set up research bases. But before they can do that, we need to fend off some Covenant squatters. The Covies...they believe that this is the home of one of their gods. The way I see it? If those freaks want to meet god, it's our duty to help them along!" Eggheads.
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Dressing nicely and minding one's appearance, nice haircut, groomed facial hair etc. makes fedora's acceptable on most people, but too many neckbeards wear them with t-shirts and jean shorts and think they look classy.
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I feel the need to sign this more than once.
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I'll sign your papers.
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I sign it.