I might have found these on Google search, but they're still good. A man in Germany felt he needed to confess. so he went to his priest, "forgive me father I have sinned. I hid a Jew in my attic during WW2" "Well thats not a sin" answered the priest "But I made him agree to pay me 50 Reichsmarks a week." "I admit that was not good but you did it for a good cause." "thank you father that eases my mind but I still have one more question" "What?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?" [spoiler] person A starts out with someone saying something bad about jews and concentration camps person B: My grandfather died in a concentration camp person A: really, I'm so sorry. person B: Yes he was drunk on guard duty and fell out of the tower[/spoiler] [spoiler]Hitler and Goering were arguing about the Jews, Goering stating that they were quite clever people and Hitler vehemently denying they were any such thing. Finally Goering told Hitler that they should go out in the city and Goering would show Hitler it was true. Hitler agreed, so they disguised themselves and went out on the street. Goering took Hitler into a shop, went up to the counter, and asked the clerk: "Do you have any left-handed teacups?" The clerk stared at Goering for a moment and then said no, mein herr, I do not. The two left with Hitler complaining that he did not understand what the point of this was and Goering telling him to be patient. They went to another shop and Goering gave the same act: "Do you have any left-handed teacups?" The clerk stared and shrugged his shoulders. They left with Hitler becoming incensed over this nonsense and Goering begging for patience. Finally they went into a Jewish shop; Goering again asked the clerk: "Do you have any left-handed teacups?" The clerk smiled graciously, went into the back room and made a show of rummaging around, brought out a saucer and teacup, set down the saucer, and carefully placed the cup with the handle pointed so Goering could pick it with his left hand. "There you are, mein herr!" the clerk said. Goering bought the teacup, thanked the clerk, and the two men left. Goering turned to Hitler and said: "See, I told you the Jews were very clever people." "I don't see what was so clever about that," Hitler snapped. "He just happened to have one in stock!"[/spoiler] [spoiler]The scene is a bar in Berlin in January 1933, filled with [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url]. Goering is skulling stiens of beer with the brownshirts, Goebbels is sipping cocktails with a couple of groupies and Hitler is seated with a wild-eyed Hess discussing pupil diagnostics. An American journalist enters, sees the full crew and realizes he's sitting on the scoop of the century. He asks the barman: "Which one shall I ask for the absolute bottom line on the [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] plans?" "Goebbels, of course" answers the barman, "He knows everything." The journalist approaches and says "I want the bottom line on what this [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] thing is." Goebbels flashes him a smile and says "We intend to kill six million Jews and one postman." The journalist's mind races. "But why do you want to kill one postman?" Goebbels shouts over to Hitler: "See Adolf, I told you no-one gives a fig about the Jews!" [/spoiler]