To begin, I promise that I am not making any of this shit up. I apologize in advance for my horrible way of describing these events. You'd think I'd be good at this kind of thing, writing a Flood fiction and all, but I have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head and I'm so -blam!-ing ecstatic to share this.
Alright, so, for the past five days I've been on a cruise that went to Cozumel, Mexico, with my best friend and his family. On this cruise, I met a very special female. Why is this female so special? Let me explain.
On the night that the ship stopped in Cozumel, the cruise director planned a giant "Mexican fiesta" on the top deck. The entire day in Cozumel before this fiesta, my friend and I were drinking all sorts of tequila and other alcoholic beverages, so we weren't in the best state of mind. Once the fiesta began and I finally convinced my friend, who's really shy when it comes to girls, to dance, we met these two cute girls. We danced with them for a good 2-3 hours before the fiesta started winding down and everyone started to clear out, which is when I decided to part ways with my friend for the girl I was dancing with and left him with her red-headed friend.
We walked to the back of the ship where there was a small deck with pool chairs facing the ocean and cuddled up on one of the chairs. After some small talk and getting to know each other, she asked me if I wanted to see pictures of fish that she saw while snorkeling, and after that I offered to show her some pictures of the places my friend and I visited. Now, this is where the story gets spicy.
When I took out my phone and went to the homepage, she gasped quite loudly and was like, "no wayyyy!!" I asked her what was up, and she pointed out the Bungie app. She told me that she always sees her brother using the same app and that he is on it all the time. I asked how old he is, and she said 21. I asked for his username, but she didn't know it, so being the cocky son of a bitch that I am while I'm drunk, I told her to ask her brother if he knows who Officer Nasty is, because, and these are my exact words, "I'm a pretty big thing around there, you know what I'm saying?" After laughing at my username, she said she would tell her brother about me the next time she sees him.
So...I'm really curious as to who her brother is on this forum, however I think it would be awkward for him to know that I hooked up with his sister. All I know is that this girl lives in southern Georgia and has an older brother who frequents the b.net forums. Hopefully her brother is a grizzled oldfoman and not some Desticle or user that I really don't like here. Maybe her brother is the real JOHN CENA? I don't think I'll ever find out, but if you have a 16 year old sister who has blonde hair and just recently came home from a cruise with her friend's family, well...I guess you could say that we're like brothers now.
TL;DR - I met a girl on my cruise this past week who has an older brother that frequents these forums, and I courted her. I courted her hard and nasty.
inb4niceblogbro
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Today on shit that didn't happen...
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This is like bobcast's story except with fewer MILFs. If a description of your story ends with the same four words the previous sentence did, you know there was no point in telling it.
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My sister went on a cruise...and now is pregnant....
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I just want to let everyone know that I still haven't found the brother
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Edited by God: 6/13/2014 11:28:51 PM
Started a new topic: So I have something to share with you all...(4 Replies))
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Another one for the count? Well done, told you shit would come together. You're becoming a great successor to Bobcast with this thread
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Bump for the guy.
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Bump. I want this man to be found [spoiler]Who knows? Maybe he has been already...[/spoiler]
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Edited by Nul Arc: 6/13/2014 8:36:44 PMLol, if only it was the same person that had bobcast bang their mom.
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16? Jeez nasty, that's just shameful. Control your urges man.
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What is her name?
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you're using the word courting so wrong on so many levels....
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you banged a 16 year old? I hope it was in international waters...
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[quote]16 year old[/quote]
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...so you banged someone's sister and you just throw it out there to a place where her brother is....
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Edited by Ghost of Reach: 6/15/2014 3:28:34 AMYou fu[i]ck[/i]ed my sister?!
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Edited by Andres: 6/15/2014 3:02:52 AMOMG HERRO BROTHER. SISTER TARK TO ME ABOUT YOU.
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He's probably in #gaming
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[quote] TL;DR - I met a girl on my cruise this past week who has an older brother that frequents these forums, and I courted her. I courted her hard and nasty. Yes, first time I've had sex in a loooong while, too.[/quote]
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DUDE, THATS MY BROTHER. SHE IS REALLY A GUY.
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[quote]we met these two cute girls[/quote] Two out, the bases are loaded, full count, the pitch is inbound...... [quote]and these are my exact words, "I'm a pretty big thing around there, you know what I'm saying?"[/quote] ... and that's the game! We'd like to thank our sponsors.
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Well it's not me.
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Edited by Mr Silencer: 6/14/2014 1:19:42 AMGlad I don't live in Georgia. He's most likely a lurker though. [url=https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=154178]Based on this old map though there are only a few potential users. [/url] Then again if they're on mobile, they probably don't know about the map or they've just never put themselves on it. Best guess though is Rahm or Oni Ghost.
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Edited by EpicFreelancer: 6/14/2014 3:48:21 AMWow Nasty, you got your freedom stick all mixed up in that commy poon-tang. How dare you betray us. You should put yourself under arrest and jump in a fiery vat of freedom to purify your soul and purge yourself of all those terrorist thoughts. Hope you put a helmet on that soldier before shipping him off to battle. ;D
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Edited by Keeker: 6/14/2014 2:45:46 AM[quote]On this cruise, I met a very special female. TL;DR - I met a girl on my cruise this past week who has an older brother that frequents these forums, and I courted her. I courted her hard and nasty. Yes, first time I've had sex in a loooong while, too.[/quote] This is the point where Keeker abandons Nasty's posts forever.. :O
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Did you post this in Density?