UPDATE :D
The spider was caught last night and released into the garden, all parties were happy and unharmed and my ankle wasn't completely borked by the leap <.<
I still hate spiders.
Ugh.
I just went into the bathroom and one was hanging from the ceiling, missed my face by an inch and some matrix style reflexes. I took it out of the way with a cardboard roll and that was that. Just a tiny seethrough sort of spider.
I then move the loo-roll stack out of the way with my foot and Oh sweet mother Teresa on the hood of a Mercedes-Benz, the biggest -blam!-ing spider I have ever seen, not exaggerating either, this was the biggest. I promptly scream and swear and flip shit trying to get the -blam!- away from Shelob and I managed to twist my ankle. -blam!-. The little bastard ran under the sink, so next time I go to wash my hands... I bet the -blam!-er is going to make a beeline for my feet and I'm going to twist my other ankle.
o.e
I -blam!-ing hate spiders.
Discuss how much you hate these spazzy little creatures that the devil himself decided to curse this planet with.
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