This thread is inspired by another: view original post
I'm proud,
but I could've never done it without the help of my 11 greatest strategists! [quote][b]Popular solutions: [/b]
1. Pouring liquid aluminum: Rottayok
2. Burning the mother-blam!-ers: Biosmiley
3. Nuking them, [i]nuking them all[/i]: Ch33zyburitto and Noble 6
4. 3 AC130's: Beta Neckbeard
5. Stalking them with ghillies: Challenger X
6. "Gentlemen always use a knife": Hylebos
7. "Try Xbox.com": Sprüngli
8. Purchase an intimidating anteater: Wolva Wonka
9. Poison OP instead: Novice
10. Magnifying glass: BannedLuis[/quote]Thanks for all your help! I wouldn't have lived to see today without you. As a reward I will report to you, the events that occured after I killed the scout:
Just like a certain certified entomologist suggested, they sent out a soldier ant squad the day after. They were not happy when they found out that I killed their scout and sent me a declaration of war soon after. The copper wiring barricades quickly proved insufficient to holding them off, so I decided to put my newly gained war tactics to use. The local friendly neighborhood Zimbabwean aluminum mine was unfortunately closed. so I couldn't get my hands on that weapon. When I got home, the house was already occupied by a second wave of the motherfuc[b]k[/b]ers. I burned them, all of them leaving my living room and kitchen behind like a single charred piece of sad man rage.
Bearing the rage of a man who lost his precious refridgerator to an army of vile creatures, I decided to engage the counter attack. First off, I sent my newly purchased anteater out on his own mission: Intimidating people at the local diner, which I thought was pretty funny. The next step was dressing up in my Ghillie suit to stalk the local patrol back to the colony, it worked like a charm too! After acquiring my target I activated my secret weapon; The giant magnifying glass I had in close orbit over florida. Before I engaged in combat, however, I had to go to the toilet, you know... War nerves and such. When I came back I noticed that I had caused several forest fires across the U.S, which was some scary shit. The U.S government luckily blamed the Russians for it and, consequentially, I got off scot free. They did shoot it down with a surface to space missile so using it again was not an option.
After this I decided to try a more political solution. I dressed up as an ant representative from the fire ant colony two blocks over and entered the local ant base under the pretext of a inter-governmental negotiation. I got treated with a lot of hospitality and nearly fell in love with the Queen ant during our dance together, but I couldn't forget the purpose that brought me there. I embraced her and made it apparent to her that the Lannisters send their regards. I stabbed her and ran. Before the guards realised what happened I had already found my way out of the colony and back home. It would only be a matter of time before they find out that not the fire ants, but a human had assassinated their precious queen. I had to act fast while they were still disorganized without their Queen.
While trying to think up my next move, I remembered the advice from a great floodian named Sprüngli: ''Try Xbox.com''. he used to say. It yielded no useful results.
So instead I mobilized the three AC130's I bought earlier from Beta Neckbeard and targeted the colony. I nuked it, I nuked all of it. consequentially decimating all life in a 10 block radius, but I got the bastards. (Got the Mother-in-law too, hehehe)
Meanwhile, my anteater was throwing plastic chairs at the local diner, completely intimidating everybody in there. I still thought it was pretty damn funny. [spoiler]http://bakedblog.devhub.com/img/upload/1-5_1.jpg[/spoiler]
I lived happily ever after... untill I died from eating yoghurt that was topped of with Borax. First came the spasms, then my bodily functions ceased. I was discovered by Novice with a creepy smile on my face as I peacefully and somewhat disturbingly moved on into the afterlife.
Don't judge me, that's how happy endings work... right?
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Yes, that is the [i]best[/i] ending ever. A death with a smile is a good one!
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little bit
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Well damn... My trump card! Did you stab a queen, like, ever?!
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