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4/16/2014 4:08:26 PM
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You know, we're all going to die.

One day each of us is going to die. Each and every one of us, on the forum, on the next, all of us. What will you leave behind? What scars will you cause, and bandages will you place? The world is for, as humans of at least some intelligence, to shape and mold, but we only have so long to do so. Some don't even get years to their life. You know, as a kid I was taught when I died, I'd go to heaven. Now, I don't even know if I believe that any more, but it's seeded this fear of death into me, that I can never shake. It's funny you know? Being more afraid of heaven then hell. I was taught that it was supposed to be a place where everyone was always happy, and loved each other. But I don't want that, you know? I feel like that takes who I am away, or at least most of me. If that were true I'd lose my hate, my anger, my pain, all the things that keep me grounded, and keep me going. What would be the point? Some grand reward? How can it even be considered a reward if we don't have the pain that makes us appreciate the happiness it brings? I would, if I could, live on this earth forever. I would never die, and I would suffer through the pain of losing loved ones over, and over again, just so I would never lose that part of myself. Of course, there really is no way to know if there is an after life or not, or if heaven is really like what I was told, but I wouldn't take the risk. I'd much rather move forward in life, then in the after life. Besides, think of all the things we'll miss. We will most likely never seen a planet colonization, or alien species, or really anything extraordinary outside our own solar system. There are an infinite number of new experiences that lie just beyond the line that ends our life, and we will never reach them. I mean, every day we don't live is something we've lost, isn't it? You know, I know a person who has a friend who was in fact officially dead for five minutes. She said that there was nothing... Just... Darkness. But you know what blows me away about that? For those five minutes, she [i]perceived[/i] darkness. As if she was somewhere different, you know? Part of me wants to think that it was because the bright light didn't show up because it wasn't her time, but I can't really know that. I can't really know anything. I can only guess. You know what I'd like my mark to be? I want to discover something new, or maybe something so old no one's ever seen it before. I want to be the first person to EVER do, or see, or find something before I die. I want to be known for my discovery, something grand, you know? I doubt I ever will though, I can't even afford ot go out once a week. Sorry for any grammatical errors. Thanks for reading.

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