Dear Friends, The torrent of bad news continues. Children can download Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, a game where innocent, perky little 12-year olds are free to burn, -blam!-, and loot booty. Call of Duty, the video game series infamous for allowing children to imagine themselves as one of Stalin's footsoldiers, has now taken the next logical step of allowing children to imagine themselves as terrorists. While Playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, a child can shoot a person, stand over the corpse, look down at the dead person's face, and then put down their game controller, whip out their penis, and slap it against their computer monitor, simulating an act of "turkey-slapping" necrophillia. Also, while Playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, children can do stand over the corpse, then bite their lip and suck on their monitor, simulating drinking the blood of the dead. They can even fart on the dead person's face (digestive system permitting) or simulate desecrating the corpse by urinating on their monitor (though I didn't test this for fear of damaging my keyboard.) When I called Activision to ask them to confirm or deny that the Columbine killers were avid players of the Call Of Duty series of games, my calls were not returned. Or even answered. They even turned off their answering machine, which is an admission of guilt in my opinion. What horrible games will children be playing next year? "Cowboys and Indians", where they can shoot and scalp settlers while making wild indian war-cries? "Cops and robbers" where they will pretend to be cop-killers? What ever happened to the good old days, when boys would just get together in the treehouse and imagine themselves as doctors? Whatever happened to simple activities like "show and tell"? Those were the days. Even worse than terrorism, there is even a league of Call of Duty players who proudly call themselves "F.A.G.S." and wear the label as a badge of honor. They claim it's an acronym for "Fight Against Grenade Spam" but that makes no sense. Viagra spam, Nigerian scam spam - my mailbox is filled with them, but I get no spam mails offering to sell me grenades. I would actually like to get some grenade spam. It would sure beat all of the "come back soon" emails from Des Moines area gay massage parlors that seem to be the most common kind of spam these days. Don't you just hate those? They don't even bother to make a proper ad, they just send an empty message titled "You left your watch here" - yeah right, buddy. I'm certain I saw my watch under the couch the other day. In Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2: players can assasinate Bush, Cheney, and a very unflatteringly-portrayed Sarah Palin.