One day Shrek and I went Publix to get some onions, when suddenly Shrek's dad named Fhrecks started -blam!- him, I thought it was creepy, how do I approach this issue with my friend Flood? I think that incest is wrong but I still what to stay friends with Shrek, and I still really need onions for the sweet and sour stew I am making for my girlfriend tonight and Shrek has the only ride-able donkey in town. Speaking of dinner, I usually like to eat everything with a spork, but my girlfriend won't let me buy silverware, so I have to run over to Wendy's and steal their sporks one a week, it suck, I've been arrested twice, I think my girlfriend is cheating on my with a bowl of cheerios. Well that's my life wow it sure is odd how I came to be in this situation