Camnator knew he should be pissed, but he wasn't. As long as he hid the other bongs in his bookbag from Jane, he would be fine. The superweed he had smoked brought an amazing sense of happiness, space, and clarity. He followed Jane outside and couldn't help but notice a spot in the back of her armor that wasn't plated, perhaps to allow for more flexibility. Whatever the reason, Camnator could not take his eyes off that robust alien booty. It was one of the most gorgeous things he'd ever seen. It if weren't for her split and the fact that she destroyed his toy, he would totally try to pick her up. That's how confident he was. Plus she snapped Jay's neck. That turned him on even more. The macabre party stepped outside the door, but Jane picked up the door frame and told vien to hold it in place. She used her plasma pistol to weld its seems shut, making sure nobody could get in. It was then that Camnator noticed all the porches. Nothing was recognizable. The walls of the convention center were no longer there. Instead there were big gaping holes which opened the view to the rest of seattle. All up and down the road were porches. The skyscrapers had turned into porches. Hundreds of aircraft were in the air, military, police, news, several of them turned into porches and began their descent to the ground. But Camnator's attention was immediately drawn to a.....confusing aura. It was coming from a man standing in the middle of what used to be part of the convention center. His nametag said Porch Lord. But the aura was coming from something that was clinging to that man's back. Camnator used his weed-powered eyesight to focus closer. It looked like a deformed baby, clinging....to his back. It turned it's head towards Camnator and he jumped. It didn't have any eyes.....but it's gaze immediately filled him with dread. It seemed to pierce into his soul. For a moment, he couldn't breath. But then the baby let go and scittered away with inhuman speed and disappeared amongst the rubble. Somebody ran across the open chasm, tripping over porch planks. Camnator read his nametag, it said "Darth Ban 7365". Immediately Porch Lord's arms began to convulse and his body twitched erraticaly. "THERE IS A DARTH BAN ON MY PORCH! WHAT SHALL I DO?!?" he shouted maniacally. He raised his arm and pointed at Darth Ban, who immediately doubled over and began to scream, clutching his stomach in agony. Then a porch burst out of his bowels, tearing him in half in bloody mist. Porch lord then turned and pointed his finger at somebody Camnator couldn't see. "no....NO!!!! DON'T DO IT..." a voice screamed. "THERE IS A TEHALOS ON MY PORCH! WHAT SHALL I DO?!?" Porch lord shouted. Camnator heard choking, followed by a ripping sound, and somebody's severed head flew across the room. It was horrible....horrible beyond belief. But superweed allowed Camnator to remain calm. Jane on the other hand grabbed him and pulled him by his scruff. "DO not allow him to see you unless you want to suffer the same fate." She said, But then Porch Lord's head exploded and he fell over as if he had been sniped. Camnator felt another deadly aura somewhere above them. "Get sniped.....bitch...." a voice said. "Wow, somebody took care of that freak!" Verbatim commented. "No..." Camnator replied..."He's one of them.." but he wasn't even sure what he was talking about. But somehow he knew that the deadly auras he sensed were connected. Porch Lord's head began to regenerate and he began to stand up again. "no...-blam!-ing way.." Verbatim murmered. Jane spoke with urgency. "Come, we have to move. Then she lead the group down the hallway away from the commotion just as Porch lord shouted "I SEE YOU DAS BOOT!!!! BOW TO THE PORCH LORD!!" followed by a loud crash. Jane turned on her communicator again and asked "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!?" to which John Cena replied "JOHN CENA!!! CENA!" "Well, hurry!!" she said. Suddenly Recon stepped out in front of the group, tears running down his face. "I....I tried to s-save them....b-but...OH IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!" he wailed. "I only saved one of them......b-but..." then he took a cheese covered potato out of his pocket and held it in front of him. "LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!!!" Camnator thought recon had lost it, his aura was fluctuating. But then the potato talked, it's halves flapping like a mouth. "I don't know what you are crying about. Nothing is wrong with me. MY hands and arms are just a bit numb, that's all. Now let me go, we need to get out of here!" Recon only wailed harder. "OHHHHHHHHHH IT'S SO TRAGIC!!!!!!! HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.....and I'm so hungry....I've been trying to resist........" "Wait Recon.." the potato said as recon began to lick it "what are you doing recon....stahp....let me go." Recon raised the cheesy potato up to his mouth and opened it. "NOOOO RECON STOP!!!!" then it shrieked as Recon bit into it and began to eat it. Camnator thought it was a very macabre sight, watching an old man crying as he ate a potato as it screamed for it's life. After swallowing the last bit of potato, recon broke down on the ground sobbing. "We don't have time for this" Jane said, and she lead the group on towards an unknown destination. Suddenly Camnator felt a piercing cold aura. Dozens of corrupted stepped out and looked at them. They were all bungie.net members who wore their nametags. Baconshelf walked towards them and laid his hand against the wall. Shelves made of bacon began to grow from the point he touched and they began to spread along the wall. Grandmasterninja blinked...and vanished into thin air. Camnator couldn't even sense his aura. Citadel Space closed his eyes, his arms began to turn into tentacles and his body became transparent. He morphed into a Hanar and said "This one feels the need to feel you." "THIS WAY! RUN" Jane said as she flashed her sword to life and sliced off the hanar's appendages. They group ran down another hall, being chased by the other corrupted. But they turned a corner and found that their path was blocked by a massage whale just sitting in the hallway. A namebadge pinned to it's nose said "ADerpyWhale". It opened it's mouth and made a loud OOOOOOOMMMMMM sound and tried to wriggle towards the party, shaking the foundations of the passage. "By the prophets! We are trapped!" Vien said. Just then Camnator felt the floor begin to tremor. It felt like something big was getting closer and closer. He heard somebody shout "JOOOOOOHHHHN CENA!!!!" then the wall exploded. Camnator couldn't quite work out what he was seeing. Something had burst through the wall, a huge mass of muscle plowed through the corrupted, smashing them like flies, leaving puddles of gore in it's wake. The creature's legs were human, but they were huge. On top of what should have been a waist...was another waist. another set of legs extended from this second waist. In between the second set of legs was very long appendage that almost looked like an elephant trunk, except it was the color of human flesh and it had a large mouth with teeth at the end. The creature didn't have any eyes or a head.......in fact, it looked kind of like something you'd find in silent hill...if the main character had feared meatspin. The mouth shouted "JOHN CENAAAA!!!!" and continued to smash down the hallway. Camnator heard in the distance "JOHN CENA IS ON MY POR..." but it was cut off. Jane instructed her robot to mute the fallen corrupted before they could regenerate. A few minutes later, John Cena came back, carrying a torsoless Porch Lord in his mouth and dropped it in front of the beetle so that it could do it's job. "Thank you Viktor" Jane said. "Now we must get to my ship so that we can talk about..." But John Cena smashed open another part of the wall, revealing a large purple spaceship. "CEENNAAA!!!!" it shouted. "I don't know how you brought that here, but you are an amazing warrior...if not unique. But let's go. We have a lot to discuss and I'd rather not have any more interruptions." So the party got into the ship. Camnator couldn't help but giggle like a little girl, this was awesome. Horrific, but awesome. (continued below)