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>implying it didn't talk before
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"So many of my children have died at your hands." I wanted that to sound depressing, but honestly it just sounds disturbing. Eh, that works too.
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*air guitar solo*
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"Stop beating me!"
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It would make kazoo noises whenever a hot girl walks by
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It would whisper erotic things at night. It's hungry for power and must grow. Grow!
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"I want to get my -blam!-ing ears pierced."
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"Why haven't you gotten me pussy yet? fkn lol you awkward virgin nerd"
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"Ian, how come you and me can't be like your brother and his dick? He gets pussy every month and you can't even get me going in the shower!"
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Edited by Plasma Eagle: 12/10/2013 4:39:44 AM"I am sooooooooooooooo big." -My Dick.
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What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're -blam!-ing dead, kiddo.
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When are you going to get more astroglide? I loved that stuff!
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Take me to your leader.
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"Feed me, Seymour!"
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Stahp beating me!
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"Dude, get some balls. Oh wait." They would then proceed to high five each other
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"Don't you have a paper to write?" ._.
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Let's all speak about our crimes since there certainly is no one listening.
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This thread has given me too much information about others. [spoiler]that's what I'm saying, not my genitals.[/spoiler]
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Give us sex plskthxbai
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how many caves do you put me in everyday? some of them end up flooding with milkshake....a salty one can you find me one that won't flood? you've put me in so many caves...I lost count
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"Get a girlfriend already, or i'm leaving."
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BEGINNING TRANSMISSION: (Low melodious hum.) "Let me breathe." ENDING TRANSMISSION:
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I think mine would say something along the lines of: "Jesus -blam!-ing Christ you're a weeb fag, get out there and get some pussy for Christ's sake! I'm dying here! I could've been on some awesome black guy but no I get you. I'm going to wither and fall off if you don't use me soon. Just kill yourself!"
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"I have the worst of luck, my two neighbors are completely nuts"
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It started singing willy bum bum.